West Texas Mama

 El Hubbo started the conversation with "Now, promise you won't kill him." That immediately got my attention.   "He broke one of your lamps when he came in the house with the weed eater.  Like beyond repair." I asked, "Why was he bringing the weed eater through the house?" "Well, he cleaned it up and he feels bad," El Hubbo said.  "I thought I should call and give you warning.  We've spent so much time and money getting him to this point....." "Ugh."  I hung up. Upon my arrival home, I saw the lampshade on the counter.  Then I saw the boy child.  I grabbed him in a big hug.  "Your daddy called and told me you wanted to take me lamp shopping.  That is so sweet of you!" He looked a bit bewildered but relieved that I had not immediately gone for the jugular.  "Uh, yeah, ok." "I'm so excited that I'm getting new lamps for the living room!" "Wait?  Lamps?  Don't you mean 'l...

 I used to send out a Christmas card with usually funny pictures of my offspring and a Christmas letter.  A couple years ago, I noticed I received only a couple Christmas cards and I noticed how expensive my little project was, and I noticed how expensive Number One Son's braces were going to be, and I decided that the card and letter tradition had probably gone the way of others. and it was time to stop.  My holiday spirit died a little that day. And, then, a miracle.  It's 2020 and I have received a record number of Christmas cards!  Actual, in the mailbox, Christmas cards!  And, several virtual cards (which I still give points for as it takes time and planning.) My holiday spirit enjoyed that little boost.   So, as it is too late to assemble the actual card and letter,  here's the resurrected virtual annual report of the Martinez Clan: Number One Son has grown to the point he looks his mama in the eye.  He sidles up to her often to se...

"Steer's out!" was the call El Hubbo got last Saturday.  We were outside on our back porch, enjoying our newly cleaned up space, when our friend and neighbor down the road called. He'd just gotten two steers the night before, and we'd gone to help him unload. "They are a bit bigger than I thought they were going to be," he said.  He'd planned to get a couple steers to feed out and then have butchered.  Usually that translates into a 300 - 500 lb calf, and you feed them out to about 1000 - 1300 lbs.  When we arrived, we were greeted by two solid black, 900+ lb steers who were not too happy with their current circumstances.   Mean would be an understatement.  They were in the trailer, but they eyed us with a "We're bigger and badder than you" look in their eyes.  El Hubbo and I looked at each other a bit surprised, and then we hopped out and got to work.  The trailer was backed up, the gates were opened and out they charged!  Around the h...

Little Sunshine has recently been allowed to start using some minimal makeup.  Last night, she launched a full-on attack regarding her lack of space on her bathroom counter and the need for El Hubbo and I to switch bedrooms and bathrooms with her.   Our counter argument was that as the two people who bring in fairly regular income, we have earned the right to have the largest bedroom and bathroom in the house.  I very much enjoy my large walk-in closet with the vanity counter.   She countered with the point that she would be eventually, like when she turns 15, need space for bronzer, contour kit, more brushes, and a whole list of other items I forget, and therefore would obviously need a larger space to work in. My response? "I don't even use that much make up!" Her:  "Yeah, but you are a simple woman, one who doesn't know how to use those things, so you wouldn't understand.  I am the artiste, and I have studied how to contour.  It's ok, you ...

Following Sunday morning church services, we normally ask the offspring what they may have learned in Bible class. This past Sunday, however, the offspring could hardly wait to recount the following story to us: "Mom!  Did you know Jesus had brothers and a sister?" Little Sunshine asked.  "Someone asked why the Bible doesn't talk about them more." Number One Son piped up and said, "Yeah, and I looked over at Little Sunshine and said, 'Maybe they were annoying and bothered Jesus.'" Little Sunshine said, "I told the class, 'He (Number One Son) speaks from experience.'" Now that I think about it, they may be on to something!

Yesterday, I bought a cupcake for today.  You read that right.  Yesterday was a rough one.  Between work, pigs, dogs, kids, husband, dad.......I was worn smooth out.  And it was a full moon.  After Bible class, we had to pick up dog food.  I looked at my watch and saw that it was 8:15 p.m.  I looked at El Hubbo and said, "We could make it to Smallcakes if you hurry." "No, we don't need any cupcakes," he unwisely replied. "We could make it to Smallcakes if you hurry," I repeated. "Yes, ma'am," he said. When we entered the store, my favorite cupcake was on display:  Wedding cake.  It is an almond-y goodness that soothes my soul and calms my nerves.  I asked the cupcake lady to put two in a box.  El Hubbo says, "But I want a Chocolately Delight."  "That's fine," I say.  "The other one is for me for tomorrow." "For tomorrow?" he says in a confused tone. "Yes, for tomorrow,...

Baby, it's cold outside.  And Number One Son has been sick with a brutal cold.  It was definitely time for me to whip up some comfort food.  My mama always had a favorite meal when she was sick.  One her mama made her often as she recovered from surgeries to help her overcome the lasting effects of polio.  Tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich were her go to meal, and I remember making it for her a time or two when she was sick.  But I cannot stand tomato soup, and I will barely tolerate a grilled cheese sandwich.  My mama knew a favorite home-cooked comfort food is necessary for proper healing, so through much trial and error she found what would satisfy me:  chicken and dumplings with a side of fried okra.  I remember vividly, on a similar cold night after I had Number One Son, she fixed me my favorite comfort food as my first meal at home.  Nothing in the world could have tasted better.  So, tonight I whipped up a bat...

" Mama, it just isn't fair ," she said quietly. "I know, baby," I replied while hugging her tighter. Since October, she'd put in so many hours.  Xeno was a stubborn pig.  He wanted to run everywhere, he pushed and shoved at you trying to get food, and he was just plain difficult.  But she put the work in to train him and love him and calm him down.  She succeeded, and she was so looking forward to showing him at the San Antonio Livestock Expo.  Just last week, I was very sick and drove her out to the barn where her pig was kept.   She took him out and walked him around the field.  "Look, mama!" she yelled.  I watched from the car as she guided him here and there, around and around the building.  I thought to myself how far she had come this year. Show day came yesterday, and she was excited on the way to the grounds.  Things were fine in the morning.  We went to get Xeno out of his pen to walk a bit about midday, and h...

When Number One Son was about four, he asked me to go on a date with him.  To say I was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement.  I thought he was perhaps the most handsome thing I had ever seen, the spitting image of his daddy.  As he looked up at me with those big brown eyes, I said, "Absolutely, I would be honored!"   He grinned and went back to playing. Date night came and his daddy helped him get all dressed up.  He was very concerned about how he was going to pay and insisted I give him the money.  So, I did.  I asked if he was going to drive, and he enthusiastically agreed.  I had to then inform him that the State of Texas might frown upon that, but he could open my door like a gentleman.  His daddy helped strap him into his carseat, and my date and I got on the road.  Having recently discovered Olive Garden spaghetti, he decided we should go there.  We entered the restaurant and he went to the hostess stand ...

I know I keep promising I am going to post more frequently.  I try, I really, really do.  But life gets away from me.  What with chasing kids, pigs, and dogs, making sure we get to karate, basketball practice, and oh yeah, work, this blog tends to fall by the wayside. But, I've been toying with an idea - I get a lot of requests from friends for recipes.  I am thinking maybe I will turn West Texas Mama into a pseudo-recipe site.  Maybe I will struggle less with coming up with things I can share at moments I am too exhausted to share them. That said, I made Pork Street Tacos tonight.  I can't take complete credit- a very dear friend name Christy J. told me she had used El Hubbo's smoked pulled pork and come up with something like this.  I didn't have her exact recipe, but here is what I threw together.  And Y'all.  I mean Y'all, y'all, y'all.  (That's West Texas Mama for DADGUMIT THAT IS GOOD.) Oh, and I should probably clarify my st...

Recently, there was a little holiday wherein the common practice is to exchange gifts.  I usually take on the role of my dad's elf during these times, and this year was no exception.  After I solemnly promised to act incredibly surprised by his thoughtfulness and generosity in the selection of my gift, I proceeded to purchase myself on his behalf a gift card to DSW Shoe Warehouse.  The holiday came and I opened my gift and exclaimed with glee, "Dad!  You shouldn't have!  I LOVE IT!"  And he smiled with self-satisfied pleasure and asked, "Great!  I am so glad!  What did I get you?" A couple days later I showered and prepared to reenter general society.  I applied makeup, kind of blowdried my hair and grabbed my gift card.  Off to DSW I went! I am not generally much of a shopper.  I am a buyer.  I know what I want, I walk into the store, I go directly to the target item, I pick it up, I walk to the register, I pay for the i...

Dear Stop Sign, I need to tell you a story.  For some time now I have been chasing a shadow.  I once knew this girl who was fearless, healthy, and strong.  I have been convinced for quite awhile that she might never be found, but today I thought I might have seen her. She was the very definition of fierce independence.  She believed what she did not know could be learned.  She was never afraid to try.  She truly did not know that there was anything she could not do if she set her mind to it.  Her mother instilled in her the mantra:  " Figure it out. "  If she wanted to see something, she went and saw it.  If she wanted to do something, she went and did it.  She was in the prime of her life.  She rock climbed in the dark.  She rappelled with abandon.  She rafted rivers at their peak.  She loped around center field, leaping and climbing the fence and  snatching home runs away from big men with bats....

Halloween was met with much anticipation by the kids this year.  Each child put much forethought into the costumes of choice:  Little Sunshine decided she would join the Minion ranks, complete with a homemade Minion choker, and Number One Son (Jake) decided he would be.......wait for it........Jake, From State Farm. I, however, was just not feeling it.  I struggled to put out decorations.  Today I just could not make myself dress up (even thought my office usually goes over the top in their costumes).  I went dressed in all black and when asked just referred to myself as "Sadness".  I mustered up the energy to not dampen the kids' enthusiasm. We're nearing the age where Number One Son will not enjoy the pillage for candy, so it was fun to watch him help his sister and go up to the door with her.  She was full steam ahead down the sidewalks, but when actually confronted with talking with strangers, she sometimes needs a little goading.  She bel...

Fires, tornadoes, drought, and now a hurricane.  It has been a rough time for our Lone Star State. I felt like she needed a love letter. Early in the year, fires in the panhandle had trucks come up the highways and interstates providing assistance to panhandle families who had lost family, herds, fences, and feed. Now, in the wake of Harvey, those trucks have been turned around, and the Panhandle sends them back full to the coastal families who now find themselves in need.  (Our mamas taught us you never return a dish empty.)  Our hearts ache for our fellow Texans on the coast.  We know too well the feeling of loss.   Regardless of the challenges ahead of us, we Texans generally manage to rise to the occasion.  We don't have time to worry about those things that really don't matter.  We have a job to do.  I'm proud of my state and her residents.  Those of us who trace our lineage back to the very founding of this Great State have had...

Little Sunshine brought home a science project assignment a couple weeks ago.  She had volunteered to make "fluffy slime".  I did not know there was such a thing.  But apparently it is a YouTube video staple.  She excitedly told me that she was going to do "research" on her tablet to find a video to help us.  She made a list of ingredients and very seriously and slowly (sometimes I am insulted by her estimation of my intelligence) explained to me the importance of making sure I went to the store to get everything, and she meant everything, on the list.  I think she even shook her finger at me. I resisted the urge to cross my eyes and stick my tongue out at her.  I must admits she gets it from me after all. So the next day during my lunch hour, I went to Walmart and quickly gathered the list she had given me.  MOM OF THE YEAR! When we all met at home that evening, I proudly handed her the bags with all of her supplies.  She grabs them an...

It is 4:48 a.m. This is generally not a time on the clock I usually see.  At least not for any good reason.  But, it appears in a moment of pure insanity a few weeks ago, I agreed to let Little Sunshine have a slumber party for her birthday. I mean, really, how hard could it be?  Girls are the gentler sex.  They are predispositioned to be dainty and clean and genteel.  They are sweet and quiet.  LIES, I TELL YOU, LIES! Let me back up a little bit.  In the aforementioned moment of insanity, I apparently also agreed to assist El Hubbo with a brisket/pork butt smoke.  So, on Thursday night we smoked pheasants, german sausage, ears of corn, 12 briskets and 12 pork butts.  This is an all-night process, that admittedly I work only until midnight.  El Hubbo stays up all night.  I get up and get him coffee and breakfast and resume assistant duties until everything is done, packaged, delivered, cleaned up.  So, this process began ...

I'm returning to reporting the more humorous events of the homestead.  I have a couple short stories for you about the offspring. El Hubbo is off on the stock show circuit.  And since we no longer have pigs, (see prior post), I have been re-relegated to the role of Stock Show Widow.  I am barely holding it together y'all.  Bible class, church service, chores, domestic animal care (the four-legged kids who mind), basketball games, basketball practice, karate practice....I'm forgetting something.....oh yeah!  School and work!  I'm EXHAUSTED. But if I had to spin this for the positive, the chats with the kids in the car are priceless. Tumbling Tumbleweeds As I was driving Little Sunshine to a practice of some sort (I can't remember, it was dark, we are in the country, every night drive looks the same.).....I had to use my masterful defensive driving skills to dodge something in the road.  Good thing my reflexive responses are not declining as quic...

I generally try to keep my blog relatively light-hearted.  I poke fun at myself and my loved ones because I think it helps to keep perspective.  Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously, and we just need a reminder that life is pretty good in the grand scheme of things. But sometimes, life ain't fair. What follows is an honest, heart-felt post.  It will not be easy to read at times.  Consider yourself warned.  There are no such things as safe spaces in my world. Few outside of an FFA or 4H program understand "why" we show livestock.   Sadly, the concept of raising livestock, having any kind of inkling or understanding of how and where one's food comes from (besides the grocery store) is foreign to most, even some of you who follow this blog.  (I love you anyway, but sometimes I worry about you.) There is a fascination with our lifestyle, and I generally become the defacto ag teacher in work meetings as I explain what my kids were doing in rece...

In yet another of a long string of parenting fails, El Hubbo and I have been named as complicit in the mystery of the missing tooth. Number One Son is, I hope, nearing the end of the losing teeth stage.  I keep thinking surely what he has will be retained, and heaven knows he has certainly cost me a small fortune at the dentist to fill those he has.   But, once again Sunday morning, he brought me another blob of bloody enamel he had yanked from his mouth. We were busy getting ready for church, so I told him to go put it up and make sure to put his tooth pillow where the tooth fairy could find it. Fast forward to today.  When he came home from school.  He said, "Hey!  Where's my tooth?"  Apparently the boy had left it in a ziplock on the kitchen counter.  That had been cleaned.  Oops. I told him that maybe the tooth fairy had already claimed it.  (Whilst I earnestly prayed El Hubbo had remembered to notify the tooth fairy.)...