Skip to main content

Uno Lampino

 El Hubbo started the conversation with "Now, promise you won't kill him."

That immediately got my attention.  

"He broke one of your lamps when he came in the house with the weed eater.  Like beyond repair."

I asked, "Why was he bringing the weed eater through the house?"

"Well, he cleaned it up and he feels bad," El Hubbo said.  "I thought I should call and give you warning.  We've spent so much time and money getting him to this point....."

"Ugh."  I hung up.

Upon my arrival home, I saw the lampshade on the counter.  Then I saw the boy child.  I grabbed him in a big hug.  "Your daddy called and told me you wanted to take me lamp shopping.  That is so sweet of you!"

He looked a bit bewildered but relieved that I had not immediately gone for the jugular.  "Uh, yeah, ok."

"I'm so excited that I'm getting new lamps for the living room!"

"Wait?  Lamps?  Don't you mean 'lamp'?  I only broke one!"

"Oh, but I need them to match - so we get to get three!"

"But....wait, woman - UNO Lampino!"

"Oh, mais non, mon petite chere," I said, "I'm getting three matching lamps. I am at a stage in life where I am allowed to have matching lamps."

"But...."

El Hubbo broke in.  "Son, she broke out the French.  I have a feeling she's coming home with three lamps."

We went to the store, where I made sure No. One Son got the full shopping experience for three beautiful new lamps.  Forty minutes later, as I placed the lamps in the basket, then carefully selected matching lampshades.  He was woefully looking in his wallet and calculating how far behind in his quest for a new gaming computer this was going to put him when I took him over to the harps and finials.

I did ease up on him slightly at checkout when I only made him pay for one.  I'm betting the weed eater is not taken through the house again.





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Texas, Our Texas!

Fires, tornadoes, drought, and now a hurricane.  It has been a rough time for our Lone Star State. I felt like she needed a love letter. Early in the year, fires in the panhandle had trucks come up the highways and interstates providing assistance to panhandle families who had lost family, herds, fences, and feed. Now, in the wake of Harvey, those trucks have been turned around, and the Panhandle sends them back full to the coastal families who now find themselves in need.  (Our mamas taught us you never return a dish empty.)  Our hearts ache for our fellow Texans on the coast.  We know too well the feeling of loss.   Regardless of the challenges ahead of us, we Texans generally manage to rise to the occasion.  We don't have time to worry about those things that really don't matter.  We have a job to do.  I'm proud of my state and her residents.  Those of us who trace our lineage back to the very founding of this Great State have had...
2 comments
Read more

Medical Sparring

My father.  The infamous Oso.  The Bear. Just as when one is dealing with his spirit animal, one should always proceed with caution with my paternal parental unit.  Not everyone is ready for his wit and charm, but doctors in particular seem to struggle with quite how to deal with the man. In Oso's not-so-humble opinion doctors are by-and-large "quacks".  The many years of medical training they have is bunk, and they have no idea what they are talking about.  He has stretched the patience of more than one member of the AMA, leading one to proclaim my father "the most non-compliant patient I have ever seen."  And, this particular doctor used to be a prison doctor!  That statement actually exists in a medical chart.  It also happen to provide my father with a peculiar point-of-pride.  In his mind, this meant he won. With mom's passing, I have inherited the dubious honor of accompanying my father to the more important doctor visits.  W...
2 comments
Read more

Sometimes, Life Ain't Fair

I generally try to keep my blog relatively light-hearted.  I poke fun at myself and my loved ones because I think it helps to keep perspective.  Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously, and we just need a reminder that life is pretty good in the grand scheme of things. But sometimes, life ain't fair. What follows is an honest, heart-felt post.  It will not be easy to read at times.  Consider yourself warned.  There are no such things as safe spaces in my world. Few outside of an FFA or 4H program understand "why" we show livestock.   Sadly, the concept of raising livestock, having any kind of inkling or understanding of how and where one's food comes from (besides the grocery store) is foreign to most, even some of you who follow this blog.  (I love you anyway, but sometimes I worry about you.) There is a fascination with our lifestyle, and I generally become the defacto ag teacher in work meetings as I explain what my kids were doing in rece...
2 comments
Read more