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Simple Woman

Little Sunshine has recently been allowed to start using some minimal makeup.  Last night, she launched a full-on attack regarding her lack of space on her bathroom counter and the need for El Hubbo and I to switch bedrooms and bathrooms with her.  

Our counter argument was that as the two people who bring in fairly regular income, we have earned the right to have the largest bedroom and bathroom in the house.  I very much enjoy my large walk-in closet with the vanity counter.  

She countered with the point that she would be eventually, like when she turns 15, need space for bronzer, contour kit, more brushes, and a whole list of other items I forget, and therefore would obviously need a larger space to work in.

My response?

"I don't even use that much make up!"

Her:  "Yeah, but you are a simple woman, one who doesn't know how to use those things, so you wouldn't understand.  I am the artiste, and I have studied how to contour.  It's ok, you are at an age that it doesn't matter."

(El Hubbo begins to laugh in the background)

Me:  (Long pause)....."Perhaps you should explain what you mean by that.  And I would be careful in my word choice."

Her:  "I mean you are simple.  You know, uncomplicated."  (She waves at my tshirt and jeans.) "Look at you - it's basic.  That's how you are.  Even with your makeup.  Basic. You wouldn't know how to do some of these things, but that is ok.  That's your style.  Simple.   I have worked on my style, and it is definitely not simple."

(El Hubbo almost got a hernia laughing.)

Me:  "You do realize that even my simple self is insulted right now?"

Her:  "Well, it's ok, mama.  You are old enough you don't have to worry about style now."  (She pats my face as she says condescendingly says...)  "Just stay simple."

Me:  "Leave my room."

Her:  (Confused) "What?  It's true!"

Me:  "Leave."

(She began to stomp out of the room....muttering....)

Her:  "Just be honest, they say.  Come talk to us....."  (Her voice drifted away.)

El Hubbo is still laughing.  I gave him a withering look.

El Hubbo:  "C'mon, Slingblade, let's go to bed.  It's that thing with the pillows on it."

Me:  "I am a simple woman so let me simply say, be nice."

El Hubbo:  "Or what, Slingblade?"

Me:  "Or this simple woman will stab you in your sleep."

El Hubbo:  "I love you, even if you are basic."

Me:  "Shut up.  And, I love you, too."


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