West Texas Mama

We have found one hole in the fearlessness of Little Sunshine.  Apparently spiders are a no-go.  I had sent her outside to pull weeds from my flower bed, and she returned screaming like a banshee.  When she calmed down enough for me to understand what was going on, she explained (between giants panting huffs of air) "THERE......WAS.......A......GIANT.......SPIDER!!!!" "Well, why don't you take your shoe and kill it?" I asked.  She gave me a look and said, "What, are you crazy, woman!?!" Ordinarily, her lack of respect for her mother would have been immediately addressed, but I have to admit I laughed. So, I told her, "I tell you what, I will give you a quarter for each spider you kill." She looked contemplatively at me and then stuck out her hand and said, "How about a 50 cent piece?" I was somewhat surprised she knew a 50 cent piece existed.  Her daddy piped up and said, "How about I offer you a dollar for every...

The title of this blog has already given you a hint as to what probably lies in store...... El Hubbo and I periodically (usually after an unusually heavy meal) declare with heart-felt seriousness that we have to "do something" about our weight.  We both were ag majors in college and we know that the basic formula to weight loss is fewer calories in, more calories burned.  There is just one little problem with this: We like food. That may be an understatement.  We love food.  And we are both great cooks.  And we appreciate the culinary skills of others.  But, this tie that binds us together also makes us a horrible support system for each other.  Each of us has, without anything close to appearing as shame, completely torpedoed each other's prior attempts at weight loss programs.  We are weak, I tell you, WEAK. While not a fan of "fad diets", we recently were moaning and groaning about how miserable we felt.  (I think it was after a fa...

I received a phone call at 4:40 p.m.  It was an angry El Hubbo screaming into the phone that the dogs had gotten out, the back gate was wide open, and he and the kids were driving around our neighborhood (which consists of two one-block streets in the middle of a cotton field - I am not exaggerating) looking for the dogs. Alright, I sigh, I am on my way. You see, this is not the first time that my darling little Rocky (who puts the "spring" in English Springer Spaniel) has chosen stormy weather to stage a prison break.  (Reference one of the earliest WTM blogs titled, "Dog Gone Evening" from 3/15/10)  And, I know he is the mastermind because Charlie is a big galoot that is looking for love in all the wrong places all the time and will willingly follow Rocky everywhere as long as it does not involve jumping. At least at that very moment, it was bright and sunny, although the storms of the previous evening/night/morning had left the aforementioned cotton fields ...

At dinner the other evening, Number One Son tells me he has come up with a list of ways to breakup with your girlfriend. As I tried to recover from the shock that perhaps some little cougar was trying to steal my son's affections, I stammer out, "What?  Do you have a girlfriend?  Why didn't I know this?  Who is she?  Why do you have a girlfriend?  You aren't old enough to have a girlfriend!  NO DATING!  EVER!  DO YOU HEAR ME?" Perhaps my machine-gun-fire rapid response was a tad bit of an over-reaction, but in my defense, I was there to eat enchiladas, not deal with the psychologically traumatic situation of a son who no longer thinks girls have cooties. Number One Son scrunched up his nose and said, "Me?  Girlfriend?  Ewwww, no way!  Girls have cooties."  (Oh, thank goodness!!  I could now enjoy the remainder of my meal.) He then rolled his eyes and said, "No, my friend has a girlfriend, and he asked me how he sho...

I recognized about 20 BK (Before Kids) that there is simply no way for me to maintain a mental to-do list.  There were simply too many people who all were convinced they held an especially important place in the line of my myriad responsibilities and who were all too important to ignore wait their turn in line for my attention.  I was a "git'er done" girl, and BK that was ok because I was young and had indepletable energy levels. I managed these demands with a little notebook of to-do items which gave me great satisfaction from marking items from the list. Then I married and had kids.  Immediate AK (After Kids) I discovered that there was no longer time to keep my neat little notebook handy.  And the most demanding individuals I would ever answer to would be less than 60" tall and possibly smarter than me.  (Especially in their own minds.)  Orders ("requests") would be shouted to me through a closed door or window while I was backing the car out of the ...

Jake has become quite the 8 year old entrepreneur.  Or, possibly scam artist.  He received as a gift about a year ago a bookmark made from duct tape. Utterly fascinated and impressed with this gift, Jake begged me to buy him some decorative duct tape so that he could make his own bookmarks.  This proposal seemed harmless enough, so I got him a couple rolls. Not long ago, I found myself In sore need of a bookmark, so I turned to my highly creative son and asked him to make me one.  He says, "I guess I will make you one for free."  I responded, "I should certainly think so since I bought the tape!"   He proceeds to inform me that he needed a notebook so he could take orders.  It would appear he has developed quite a following.  He also informed me that he was charging his friends "$5 in pass tickets" (a reward system for students who may then purchase prizes from something called a "pass cabinet".) Part of me was proud of his capitalistic tendencie...

Sometimes I am amazed at how many unique, individual conversations during my day can be so comically related.  The consistent theme for conversations today was :  TV Remotes El Hubbo's Precioussssssss I come home from work to be greeted by my beloved and my off-spring watching TV.  Number One Son tells his father, "I need a dollar to help my science teacher feed the bearded dragon lizard." El Hubbo says, "Is your science teacher going to help feed your pig?"  Jake says, "No!"  El Hubbo says, "Then you don't get a dollar to feed a mythical creature." Jake looks at him confused and says, "It's not a mythical creature, it's a small lizard?  A bearded dragon lizard."  El Hubbo says, "I don't care if it has a goatee!"  Jake says, "It DOES have a goatee!" El Hubbo responds with, "I don't care!"  Jake grabs the TV remote from his father and says, "Remember, I have power over ...