Sometimes I am amazed at how many unique, individual conversations during my day can be so comically related. The consistent theme for conversations today was : TV Remotes
El Hubbo's Precioussssssss
I come home from work to be greeted by my beloved and my off-spring watching TV. Number One Son tells his father, "I need a dollar to help my science teacher feed the bearded dragon lizard."
El Hubbo says, "Is your science teacher going to help feed your pig?" Jake says, "No!" El Hubbo says, "Then you don't get a dollar to feed a mythical creature."
Jake looks at him confused and says, "It's not a mythical creature, it's a small lizard? A bearded dragon lizard." El Hubbo says, "I don't care if it has a goatee!" Jake says, "It DOES have a goatee!"
El Hubbo responds with, "I don't care!" Jake grabs the TV remote from his father and says, "Remember, I have power over you. I have the remote! Give me a dollar!"
El Hubbo almost went into convulsions as he scrambled to pay the ransom to get his precioussssss, uh, I mean remote back. Sounds like someone has his father figured out.
The Old Gray Mule and the DVD Player
Periodically, say about every three months, my parents decide to rent a DVD. Apparently, using this fancy technology makes them feel like young, hip kids. The only problem is, to actually watch the DVD, they must dial my number. (Sometimes I'm surprised they don't try sending smoke signals, they are so technically challenged.)
The conversation goes something like this:
"Uh, yeah, Bren, I put the disc in and the movie isn't playing."
"Um, Hi, Dad."
"Oh yeah, uh, Hi."
"So, Dad, do you have all your remotes in front of you?"
"Yeah - I put the disc in and then I....mumble mumble mumble"
"DAD! Put the phone back up by your mouth - I can't hear you!"
"What? Oh yeah....so I put the disc in and I tried pushing the button on the samsung remote, but it says push input and I don't find an input button."
"Ok, Dad, is your TV a Sony or a Samsung?"
"Well the remote says Suddenlink."
"Well, Dad, that is the cable company. We need the remote that matches your TV."
"Huh, well. Let me look here......."
At this point I wait for 5-10 minutes while he rummages around for the remote. In the background I can hear him, "Ma! Where's the TV remote?" "I don't know! You had it! Where'd you put it?" "I'm pretty sure it was over here....wait, found it!" "Where was it?" "Under the recliner" "What's it doing there?" "I don't know, let's see if we can figure it out." "Is Brenda still on the phone?" "Oh yeah! I forgot."
I have at this point found somewhere to lay down and close my eyes to wait it all out.
"Hey! Are you still on the phone?"
"Yes, Dad, I'm still here."
"OK, I think I found the remote."
"Ok, look for a button that says input."
"Well, let's see....there's DVD.....there's Enter......there's volume....."
"INPUT, DAD, FIND THE INPUT BUTTON!!!"
"Channel.....one....two....three......"
"INPUT! I SAID INPUT!"
"Oh, yeah, here it is! "
"Ok, push it"
"Ok, I pushed it....what's supposed to happen?"
I'm trying hard not to groan, or laugh at this point.......
"Well, look up at the TV......does it bring up a list of options?"
"Well, look at that! Let's see.....cable box.....air......HDMI...."
"DAD! Do you see DVD or Blu-Ray?"
"Oh, yeah, there it is....."
"Ok, push the down button to highlight the DVD option."
"Where's the down button?"
I have smacked myself in the forehead at this point.
"Well, I can't see your remote, Dad, but it's usually the buttons around the OK or Select button....."
"There aren't any ..... oh wait, there they are. Hey! That fixed it.....got it going, dear!"
"Ok, good deal." (Said with a noticeable sigh of relief.)
Usually at this point, dad is so distracted by the fact that there are moving pictures on his screen that he just hangs up on me. Tonight, however, he pops off with this:
"When we get a little more feeble, we're moving in with you."
"Can't wait, dad."
Good thing I love that old Gray mule.
El Hubbo's Precioussssssss
I come home from work to be greeted by my beloved and my off-spring watching TV. Number One Son tells his father, "I need a dollar to help my science teacher feed the bearded dragon lizard."
El Hubbo says, "Is your science teacher going to help feed your pig?" Jake says, "No!" El Hubbo says, "Then you don't get a dollar to feed a mythical creature."
Jake looks at him confused and says, "It's not a mythical creature, it's a small lizard? A bearded dragon lizard." El Hubbo says, "I don't care if it has a goatee!" Jake says, "It DOES have a goatee!"
El Hubbo responds with, "I don't care!" Jake grabs the TV remote from his father and says, "Remember, I have power over you. I have the remote! Give me a dollar!"
El Hubbo almost went into convulsions as he scrambled to pay the ransom to get his precioussssss, uh, I mean remote back. Sounds like someone has his father figured out.
The Old Gray Mule and the DVD Player
Periodically, say about every three months, my parents decide to rent a DVD. Apparently, using this fancy technology makes them feel like young, hip kids. The only problem is, to actually watch the DVD, they must dial my number. (Sometimes I'm surprised they don't try sending smoke signals, they are so technically challenged.)
The conversation goes something like this:
"Uh, yeah, Bren, I put the disc in and the movie isn't playing."
"Um, Hi, Dad."
"Oh yeah, uh, Hi."
"So, Dad, do you have all your remotes in front of you?"
"Yeah - I put the disc in and then I....mumble mumble mumble"
"DAD! Put the phone back up by your mouth - I can't hear you!"
"What? Oh yeah....so I put the disc in and I tried pushing the button on the samsung remote, but it says push input and I don't find an input button."
"Ok, Dad, is your TV a Sony or a Samsung?"
"Well the remote says Suddenlink."
"Well, Dad, that is the cable company. We need the remote that matches your TV."
"Huh, well. Let me look here......."
At this point I wait for 5-10 minutes while he rummages around for the remote. In the background I can hear him, "Ma! Where's the TV remote?" "I don't know! You had it! Where'd you put it?" "I'm pretty sure it was over here....wait, found it!" "Where was it?" "Under the recliner" "What's it doing there?" "I don't know, let's see if we can figure it out." "Is Brenda still on the phone?" "Oh yeah! I forgot."
I have at this point found somewhere to lay down and close my eyes to wait it all out.
"Hey! Are you still on the phone?"
"Yes, Dad, I'm still here."
"OK, I think I found the remote."
"Ok, look for a button that says input."
"Well, let's see....there's DVD.....there's Enter......there's volume....."
"INPUT, DAD, FIND THE INPUT BUTTON!!!"
"Channel.....one....two....three......"
"INPUT! I SAID INPUT!"
"Oh, yeah, here it is! "
"Ok, push it"
"Ok, I pushed it....what's supposed to happen?"
I'm trying hard not to groan, or laugh at this point.......
"Well, look up at the TV......does it bring up a list of options?"
"Well, look at that! Let's see.....cable box.....air......HDMI...."
"DAD! Do you see DVD or Blu-Ray?"
"Oh, yeah, there it is....."
"Ok, push the down button to highlight the DVD option."
"Where's the down button?"
I have smacked myself in the forehead at this point.
"Well, I can't see your remote, Dad, but it's usually the buttons around the OK or Select button....."
"There aren't any ..... oh wait, there they are. Hey! That fixed it.....got it going, dear!"
"Ok, good deal." (Said with a noticeable sigh of relief.)
Usually at this point, dad is so distracted by the fact that there are moving pictures on his screen that he just hangs up on me. Tonight, however, he pops off with this:
"When we get a little more feeble, we're moving in with you."
"Can't wait, dad."
Good thing I love that old Gray mule.
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