West Texas Mama

It's been a very busy time for WTM.  Recently, I went to a conference for the real job (you know, the one that pays - not this one.  This one only has non-tangible benefits such as sharing the exploits of my family so that you can understand or sympathize or just feel better about yourself.)  This conference was in San Francisco, a city I had never visited. Much goes into the preparation for the Mama to leave.  Beyond the normal packing, checking in for flights, and attempting to keep the look of glee and anticipation off my face as I somberly assure El Hubbo and the munchkins that I will miss them greatly, there are the other preparations that must take place:  (1)  Review schedule for all available sight-seeing opportunities (2) Research restaurant options (3) Develop entertainment agenda (4) Draft schedule and contact information for El Hubbo to attempt to keep up with a fraction of what his wife does on a weekly basis. This last item is critical. ...

It's always difficult to not freak out when your child utters his or her first expletive.  No matter how hard you try to shield them from vulgar language, and no matter how hard you try to not freak out when they invariably bust out with one of the really, really bad ones in public, it is just going to happen. El Hubbo and I have managed fairly well to remain calm and attempt to stress the seriousness to our children of not using many of the words they will overhear or learn from their friends.  I've even been known to get up from a table in a restaurant and ask the people next to us to watch their language.  We relocated from our seats at a certain college baseball stadium. We've taken extra precautions to edit our own language, which is difficult when one has just broken one's toe against the foot of the bed.  (Yep, speaking from experience.)  El Hubbo, in his extraordinarily creative way, has more than once had a standard household incident that causes im...

Well, El Hubbo is gone again, and of course there is too much to do, not enough time to do it, and no one to help.  I seem to be caught on a treadmill set to too high a speed on an incline.  I race here and there, when I am home, I run about the house trying (and failing) to pick up, clean up, etc.  In addition to work and church, we have to squeeze in Spanish lessons (Jake), boy scouts, and the occasional workout (which I am trying to make non-optional since I really would like to live to see these kids pay for everything they do to me).  To top it off, I got to add a trip to the vet today. While many of you probably think we utilize a vet for our offspring, you would be wrong.  (Granted, my experience working for a vet, and El Hubbo's experience doctoring hogs and other barnyard animals does make us a little more willing to try home remedies for general ailments, aches, and pains.) No, this trip was indeed for the four-legged livestock living in our home. ...

Well, 'tis the season.  El Hubbo has hit the road for stock shows, and I am once again a stock show widow.  It's the season I refer to as "Murphy" as his law kicks into high gear and kicks my tail on an almost daily basis. SUNDAY This year Murphy didn't even wait for El Hubbo to leave before slapping me around a bit.  Being the devoted, kind-hearted wife that I am, I arose early last Sunday to fix my family a nice breakfast before we readied ourselves for church.  I had a nice sausage and cheese pastry baking away.  I turned the light on for the oven to check it's progress.....and it was progressing nicely.  Looked ever so scrumptious.  I reached to turn the light back off and it did not go off.  I toggled the switch back and forth and .........nothing.  Befuddled, but not yet panicked, I decided maybe the oven just needed a little time to decide to cooperate, and went about my business.  (Time is the usual cure for unresponsive appli...

What does one do when one sees four bananas that look a little past their prime hanging on the banana hook?  Many a modern girl would throw said fruit away, fearful of the blackish-brown spots that have overtaken the fresher yellow skin.  Nay, nay, says a girl brought up baking.  Those blackish-brown spots are a gift from God and make the heart of every true baker sing with anticipation of the delights that can be coaxed from it mushiness. This morning, not having had to arise for work (one thing I do thank the state legislature for), the kids and I lay piled in bed discussing the opportunities the day held.  Jake decided he was fully prepared to make waffles for breakfast.  With very little adult supervision (just enough to make sure he didn't burn himself on the waffle iron), he turned out 6 very nice, tasty waffles.  He even dressed them up with syrup for Emma and I. As if this wasn't enough to make a mama's heart swell and burst, Emma decided she wa...

We've had a complicated relationship with baths around our house. There have been times when the children gleefully peeled off every stitch of clothing, ran naked and free with complete abandon, and joyfully dove into the tub for a good 45 minutes of time Mama could use to clean up the mess they had made in the kitchen after dinner. There have been times when the 2" of water left on the floors of the bathroom following a bath have caused the parental units in the household to draw their offspring close, take big whiff, and declare them good for one more day. As we transitioned to showers, there was the cold shock in the morning that brought instant life and awareness as I realized my offspring had changed my carefully researched and predetermined, perfect shower temp setting. As we move to a completely independent showering experience, we now face new challenges.  There are some uncomfortable things I have learned about my children during this time.  (1) The amount of ...

El Hubbo and I are fans of the show, "Shark Tank".  People walk into a room of rich folks and try to convince them to invest in their company/product/idea. Some of the ideas are downright ridiculous (such as the "ARKEG" - a combo arcade game and kegerator), and some are ingenious (such as the magnetic eyeglass holder).  As with most things we do, we often begin to look accusingly at each other and asking, "Why can't YOU come up with something like that?" Well, folks, I am here to tell you that I have the perfect (and timely) idea that is sure to garner me both fame and riches (and possibly a trophy husband). Given the preponderance of ridiculous debate regarding gun laws, I would like to address one HUGE flaw I see in most arguments.  How many times in the last month alone have you heard that we must expand gun purchase background checks to make sure guns are not sold to the mentally ill?  I ask you, just how would you enforce that?  There is cur...