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Psycho Meters and Chia Pets

El Hubbo and I are fans of the show, "Shark Tank".  People walk into a room of rich folks and try to convince them to invest in their company/product/idea.

Some of the ideas are downright ridiculous (such as the "ARKEG" - a combo arcade game and kegerator), and some are ingenious (such as the magnetic eyeglass holder).  As with most things we do, we often begin to look accusingly at each other and asking, "Why can't YOU come up with something like that?"

Well, folks, I am here to tell you that I have the perfect (and timely) idea that is sure to garner me both fame and riches (and possibly a trophy husband).

Given the preponderance of ridiculous debate regarding gun laws, I would like to address one HUGE flaw I see in most arguments.  How many times in the last month alone have you heard that we must expand gun purchase background checks to make sure guns are not sold to the mentally ill?  I ask you, just how would you enforce that?  There is currently no "Crazy Person" database that I am aware of.  You cannot ask the buyer if you can see their "Psycho Card".

I suppose you could add questions in a similar vein to the old airport "Do you have a bomb in your bag?" security checks.  "Are you now or have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness that causes you to want to shoot someone? Check Yes or No."  This will probably work just as well as the airport question did.

So, since there is not a Looney Database, and federal privacy laws would prevent one from being developed anyway, there would be a defined need to identify this subset of the population when they go to legally purchase weaponry (guns, knives, cars, baseball bats, rat poison, ninja stars, etc.)

Here is the solution:  The WTM Psycho Meter!  Based upon the fail-safe principle that "Crazy people don't blink," all individuals will be asked to stand before the counter and look directly into the eyes of the salesman.  The salesman will then count the number of times the individual blinks in a two minute time period.  That number will then be compared to the Less-Than-Scientifically developed Crazy Scale:

100+  Times = May purchase gun, but only eligible for rubber bullets
50 - 100 Times = Almost normal, ok to sell
20 - 49 Times = Normal, ok to sell
5 - 19 Times = May purchase nerf model
0 - 4 Times = Certified Psychopath - Run (don't walk) away as far and as fast as you can! (And take the gun with you!)

There you go, a way to enforce what is currently a completely unenforceable, ridiculous suggestion.  But, then again, there are a lot of ridiculous things out there making lots of people lots of money.......look at the Chia Pet.  'Nuff said!


Comments

  1. Favorite Brother-n-lawsJanuary 14, 2013 at 10:07 PM

    Me, myself, and I all agree that the ARKEG is the best idea or invention ever and we are predicting it will sweep across every mancave in the nation!!...well...maybe just ours!!!

    ReplyDelete

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