Skip to main content

Bath Aversion

We've had a complicated relationship with baths around our house.

There have been times when the children gleefully peeled off every stitch of clothing, ran naked and free with complete abandon, and joyfully dove into the tub for a good 45 minutes of time Mama could use to clean up the mess they had made in the kitchen after dinner.

There have been times when the 2" of water left on the floors of the bathroom following a bath have caused the parental units in the household to draw their offspring close, take big whiff, and declare them good for one more day.

As we transitioned to showers, there was the cold shock in the morning that brought instant life and awareness as I realized my offspring had changed my carefully researched and predetermined, perfect shower temp setting.

As we move to a completely independent showering experience, we now face new challenges.  There are some uncomfortable things I have learned about my children during this time.  (1) The amount of shower gel required to wash a 7-yr old boy can be calculated by multiplying by 5 times that needed for a 43-year old male child.  Same for the amount of water/time.

(2) When the 4 year old female of the house comes out with a towel wrapped around her head and declares, "It's ok, mom, my hair just dried really fast," you should immediately remove the towel, point out that dry hair is a sign of unwashed hair and send her back in.

 (3) When the 4 year old female of the house comes back out with wet hair less than 30 seconds later, point out to her that if you feel her hair, you will be able to tell if soap was used, and that if you feel her hair and soap was not used, you may have to shave her head so that she looks more like the Prince than Ariel.  (If an Olympic medal were awarded for a dash the length of the living room to the bathroom, that child just brought home the gold.)

(4) 7 year old boys demonstrating their opera voice in the shower can make you forget that you may have had a terrible, awful, horrible, very bad, no good day.

(5) Clean children is best achieved utilizing a bribe of cookies and milk.

(6) Explaining the concept of modesty to my offspring has been about as successfully retained as the soil chemistry concepts I learned in Agronomy 305 in college.

(7) As much as you sometimes wish your kids would not grow up so fast, having them be able to completely shower/bathe themselves is a nice, quiet, if expensive, moment.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Uno Lampino

 El Hubbo started the conversation with "Now, promise you won't kill him." That immediately got my attention.   "He broke one of your lamps when he came in the house with the weed eater.  Like beyond repair." I asked, "Why was he bringing the weed eater through the house?" "Well, he cleaned it up and he feels bad," El Hubbo said.  "I thought I should call and give you warning.  We've spent so much time and money getting him to this point....." "Ugh."  I hung up. Upon my arrival home, I saw the lampshade on the counter.  Then I saw the boy child.  I grabbed him in a big hug.  "Your daddy called and told me you wanted to take me lamp shopping.  That is so sweet of you!" He looked a bit bewildered but relieved that I had not immediately gone for the jugular.  "Uh, yeah, ok." "I'm so excited that I'm getting new lamps for the living room!" "Wait?  Lamps?  Don't you mean 'l...

A Simple Virtual Christmas Letter 2020

 I used to send out a Christmas card with usually funny pictures of my offspring and a Christmas letter.  A couple years ago, I noticed I received only a couple Christmas cards and I noticed how expensive my little project was, and I noticed how expensive Number One Son's braces were going to be, and I decided that the card and letter tradition had probably gone the way of others. and it was time to stop.  My holiday spirit died a little that day. And, then, a miracle.  It's 2020 and I have received a record number of Christmas cards!  Actual, in the mailbox, Christmas cards!  And, several virtual cards (which I still give points for as it takes time and planning.) My holiday spirit enjoyed that little boost.   So, as it is too late to assemble the actual card and letter,  here's the resurrected virtual annual report of the Martinez Clan: Number One Son has grown to the point he looks his mama in the eye.  He sidles up to her often to se...

Doin' Cowboy Stuff

"Steer's out!" was the call El Hubbo got last Saturday.  We were outside on our back porch, enjoying our newly cleaned up space, when our friend and neighbor down the road called. He'd just gotten two steers the night before, and we'd gone to help him unload. "They are a bit bigger than I thought they were going to be," he said.  He'd planned to get a couple steers to feed out and then have butchered.  Usually that translates into a 300 - 500 lb calf, and you feed them out to about 1000 - 1300 lbs.  When we arrived, we were greeted by two solid black, 900+ lb steers who were not too happy with their current circumstances.   Mean would be an understatement.  They were in the trailer, but they eyed us with a "We're bigger and badder than you" look in their eyes.  El Hubbo and I looked at each other a bit surprised, and then we hopped out and got to work.  The trailer was backed up, the gates were opened and out they charged!  Around the h...