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Bath Aversion

We've had a complicated relationship with baths around our house.

There have been times when the children gleefully peeled off every stitch of clothing, ran naked and free with complete abandon, and joyfully dove into the tub for a good 45 minutes of time Mama could use to clean up the mess they had made in the kitchen after dinner.

There have been times when the 2" of water left on the floors of the bathroom following a bath have caused the parental units in the household to draw their offspring close, take big whiff, and declare them good for one more day.

As we transitioned to showers, there was the cold shock in the morning that brought instant life and awareness as I realized my offspring had changed my carefully researched and predetermined, perfect shower temp setting.

As we move to a completely independent showering experience, we now face new challenges.  There are some uncomfortable things I have learned about my children during this time.  (1) The amount of shower gel required to wash a 7-yr old boy can be calculated by multiplying by 5 times that needed for a 43-year old male child.  Same for the amount of water/time.

(2) When the 4 year old female of the house comes out with a towel wrapped around her head and declares, "It's ok, mom, my hair just dried really fast," you should immediately remove the towel, point out that dry hair is a sign of unwashed hair and send her back in.

 (3) When the 4 year old female of the house comes back out with wet hair less than 30 seconds later, point out to her that if you feel her hair, you will be able to tell if soap was used, and that if you feel her hair and soap was not used, you may have to shave her head so that she looks more like the Prince than Ariel.  (If an Olympic medal were awarded for a dash the length of the living room to the bathroom, that child just brought home the gold.)

(4) 7 year old boys demonstrating their opera voice in the shower can make you forget that you may have had a terrible, awful, horrible, very bad, no good day.

(5) Clean children is best achieved utilizing a bribe of cookies and milk.

(6) Explaining the concept of modesty to my offspring has been about as successfully retained as the soil chemistry concepts I learned in Agronomy 305 in college.

(7) As much as you sometimes wish your kids would not grow up so fast, having them be able to completely shower/bathe themselves is a nice, quiet, if expensive, moment.

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