West Texas Mama

El Hubbo is gone to another stock show.  It is also Spring Break and our home continues to be a battleground for the willful and consistently annoyed under-7 population.  I don't really get Spring Break, but I did choose to take a couple vac days to spend catching up around the house.  I had the perfect plan - the kids would be at the daycare - El Hubbo is in Houston, so I could lay out my to-do list and really whittle down on the incredible long list of things that never seem to get done around here. I kept my little plan underwraps.  You see, if El Hubbo were alerted to the fact that I was taking a couple days off, he would have scheduled out my entire day, filling it with errands and chores for him.  I have learned that lesson - so now my vacation days are Top Secret:  Need to Know Status only.  It's not as though he takes vacation days and spends them cleaning closets, mopping floors and wiping floorboards, sorting out the kid's toys, packin...

I am no foreigner to the various names one calls a lover of books:  bibliophile, bookworm, nerd, etc.  I am guilty on all accounts.  El Hubbo quickly realized early in our marriage that books were to me as crack was to an addict.  My dealer's name was Barnes and Noble.   While this makes me an interesting Trivial Pursuit partner, it can dent the old pocketbook if one is not careful.  El Hubbo put me on a strict book budget, and I had to resort to nefarious means to get my fix - including using my children.  All gift-giving occasions give me an excuse to head to my dealer to "pick something up for them" - and, of course, sneak in a book or two for mama.  On the occasion of their birthday or for very special rewards, they get to actually go visit the dealer with their mama - and of course, mama usually gets something special too.  It works for me. I will read ANYTHING.  Almost.  I do draw the line at racy novels.  But I ...

In previous posts you may have read about El Hubbo’s bad hip and the saga of will we or won’t we have a hip replacement. Given that the doctors have decided to wait on such intrusive treatments, El Hubbo was at a loss for what to do next. As word spread of his agony, a colleague of his told him about something he uses. Now, understand that we are talking about a group of people who treat animals for various and a sundry ailments, so when El Hubbo came home telling me about this miracle cure, I was immediately skeptical. He gives me this website and says, can you check this out? Alrighty. I go to the site, and it is all in Spanish. This is what I would consider a red flag. I tell El Hubbo, perhaps you should have a doctor check this out. (Secretly, I am thinking he’s lost his mind. I WAS NOT going to order drugs from a website I couldn’t even understand.) In a display of unusually cooperative behavior, El Hubbo tells his doctor about this miracle drug. The doctor tells him it loo...

Bedtime has evolved into a dramatic performance that is sometimes Oscar-worthy.  Take the other night, for instance. Little Sunshine comes in to my room, where I have already collapsed following a full day of work followed by a full evening of stellar parenting.  (Ha.)  "Mama, there are monsters in my room."  I reply, "No there's not.  Daddy scared them all away."  She comes back with, "But I need hope?"  Now that was a new, and creative one.  "Hope?" I ask.  She says, "Uh huh."  Well, "What are you hoping for?"  She looks left and then right, obviously working out her plan on the fly.  "Well, but it will hurt my leg."  Apparently someone forgot to tell us that logical progression of reasoning does not apply to kids.  Not knowing what else to do, I jump right over to this path of thought.  "How will it hurt your leg, baby?"  "Well, but there's a scratch."  I had just bathed the child, a...

It just doesn't get better than Redneck Romance.  Nine years ago, El Hubbo was known more affectionately as the Romantic Hispanic.  We were young(-ish) and newly in LUV, and he displayed the typical lack of sense common to most males who are trying to impress a female.  I worked at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo.  Spring for those involved in stock shows is a very busy time.  I was putting in 20+ hour days getting ready for that little 20 day event, and El Hubbo was busy hauling animals and kids from show to show.  Needless to say, there was little time for courtship. Valentine's Day was just something that went basically un-celebrated for me.  I was busy working and by this point pre-show was doing good to know what day of the week it was - there simply was no time for holiday celebrations.  But, late in the evening on Valentine's Day 2003, I got a phone call from the Romantic Hispanic: "Hey!  What are you doing?",...

I've taken a 10-year hiatus from the Grammy's.  But, a snowstorm that has left us sequestered with a fire burning in the fireplace and the kids early to bed has left me with a rare opportunity to sit and watch a show I used to love to watch all the time. I find my self tripping down memory lane.  My pre-married life was spent on the edges of the music industry.  I worked for the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, which afforded me the opportunity to see a minimum of 20 high-profile music acts each year.  I got to be in close proximity to many of those acts, and it was always fun to watch the music award shows.  When one of the acts I may have met would win an award, somehow, it kind of felt like a distant cousin had done well. One thing disturbed me greatly about this show.  I was quite excited about the fact that some of my favorites would be playing - however, I do not like it when the intros include statements such as, "a living legend" and inste...

SHHHHHHHH - I'm hiding.  Need help.  Short Ones have taken over the household.  I fear I cannot remain hidden much longer.  Weak from exhaustion, I've taken refuge under a large pile of laundry as I do not believe they will come near it.  The male continues to eat everything he can get his hands on and appears to grow two inches every night.  The female is a wiley one and carries a pirate sword.  I am very, very afraid of her.  Should I not survive, tell El Hubbo I love him and that I fought valiantly.  Much love, West Texas Mama P.S.  I bequeath my coupon binder to my sister.