No one warned me that I would need to retain a lawyer in order to raise my children.
First, a little background: Jake and I have an arrangement. He receives one quarter for every "O" (Outstanding) he gets on his six-week report card. The first report card I had to pay out close to $4. This last one cost me over $10. This kid likes money - he can be bribed to do much for a quarter. And, he counts it up and makes sure I don't forget. If I don't have it handy, he will meet me at the door of the daycare with his hand held out awaiting payment.
More background: Jake's school has a discipline system. He can lose a "blurt" if he blurts out answers or talks without permission. He can lose an "out of seat" for, well, being out of his seat. (I know, you pretty much had that one figured.) Three blurts can mean the loss of a ticket. Three out of seats means the loss of a ticket. Really egregious offenses will mean the loss of a ticket, or you have to do "academies" to practice your manners.
My highly social child had lost quite a few tickets and done quite a few academies. So, he and I made a deal: every ticket he loses, he owes me a $1. For three straight weeks, there has been no loss of tickets.
Now for the story: Today I pick the child up and ask for the daily report. He crosses his arms and says, "I'll tell you when we get home." Uh-oh. I was tired, and decided not to press for more info. I figured there would be a meeting request from his teacher in his backpack.
We get home, and he very seriously tells me that he is going to his room, where he is going to write me a report on his day. I say, "Uh, ok." He disappears for a bit, and returns with an envelope. On the outside was written: "Frum Jake, To Brindu".
And the note inside: "I have lost to blrs and I have lost onw tikit and I had to do a ikadme deering my cimputr tim and I had to do now deering my baskit tim." The translation took me awhile, but after some intensive consultation of the Rosetta Stone, here is what I believe it said: "I have lost two blurts, and I have lost one ticket, and I had to do an academy during my computer time, and I had to do one during my basket time." Tucked inside the note was a $1 bill.
It's hard not to laugh when your offspring is looking up at you with such sad eyes. I gave him the raised eyebrow and told him thank you for holding up his end of the deal, but that I really wanted him to work hard on his behavior at school. He nodded and gravely said, "Yes, I know. I do not want to lose another dollar."
I asked him to finish his homework and then put his backpack folder up. He looked at me and said, "Don't you mean to put my folder in my backpack? You need to work on your cununication skills, mama." It does amaze me how much my six year old kindergartener can make me want to stick my tongue out at him.
Needless to say, this little note and dollar bill will be added to the keepsake box. If I'm lucky, I'll get my ten dollars back in time for the next report card.
First, a little background: Jake and I have an arrangement. He receives one quarter for every "O" (Outstanding) he gets on his six-week report card. The first report card I had to pay out close to $4. This last one cost me over $10. This kid likes money - he can be bribed to do much for a quarter. And, he counts it up and makes sure I don't forget. If I don't have it handy, he will meet me at the door of the daycare with his hand held out awaiting payment.
More background: Jake's school has a discipline system. He can lose a "blurt" if he blurts out answers or talks without permission. He can lose an "out of seat" for, well, being out of his seat. (I know, you pretty much had that one figured.) Three blurts can mean the loss of a ticket. Three out of seats means the loss of a ticket. Really egregious offenses will mean the loss of a ticket, or you have to do "academies" to practice your manners.
My highly social child had lost quite a few tickets and done quite a few academies. So, he and I made a deal: every ticket he loses, he owes me a $1. For three straight weeks, there has been no loss of tickets.
Now for the story: Today I pick the child up and ask for the daily report. He crosses his arms and says, "I'll tell you when we get home." Uh-oh. I was tired, and decided not to press for more info. I figured there would be a meeting request from his teacher in his backpack.
We get home, and he very seriously tells me that he is going to his room, where he is going to write me a report on his day. I say, "Uh, ok." He disappears for a bit, and returns with an envelope. On the outside was written: "Frum Jake, To Brindu".
And the note inside: "I have lost to blrs and I have lost onw tikit and I had to do a ikadme deering my cimputr tim and I had to do now deering my baskit tim." The translation took me awhile, but after some intensive consultation of the Rosetta Stone, here is what I believe it said: "I have lost two blurts, and I have lost one ticket, and I had to do an academy during my computer time, and I had to do one during my basket time." Tucked inside the note was a $1 bill.
It's hard not to laugh when your offspring is looking up at you with such sad eyes. I gave him the raised eyebrow and told him thank you for holding up his end of the deal, but that I really wanted him to work hard on his behavior at school. He nodded and gravely said, "Yes, I know. I do not want to lose another dollar."
I asked him to finish his homework and then put his backpack folder up. He looked at me and said, "Don't you mean to put my folder in my backpack? You need to work on your cununication skills, mama." It does amaze me how much my six year old kindergartener can make me want to stick my tongue out at him.
Needless to say, this little note and dollar bill will be added to the keepsake box. If I'm lucky, I'll get my ten dollars back in time for the next report card.
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