Skip to main content

PSA of Burning Importance


There are things my friends from the north will never be able to fully appreciate.  One of those things is the satisfaction of growing your very own cooking staple:  jalapenos.  We Texans love our jalapenos.  They can go in almost anything.  I spend so much money on jalapenos for various recipes that I decided this year I would grow my own.

The kids have been fascinated.  They report daily on the plants' progress, tallying the totals for each plant and letting me know if some of the jalapenos are turning red, which is a little past the prime of their use for my cooking.

Little Sunshine was giving me her report and brought in a few jalapenos one night.  She showed me they were red and asked what I wanted her to do with them.  I told her thank you, and that I was not in need of jalapenos at just that moment, so why not put them in the kitchen.

She skipped away, and I did not give it another thought.  El Hubbo hollered at her that it was time to take her shower.  She skipped back in my bedroom, wrapped in a towel, and headed for the shower.

Now, the shower process for the tiniest human in the house is generally the longest for any human in the house.  On average, she spends 30-45 minutes.  I mean, it takes time to clean that little body, sing songs, wash hair, sing more songs, tease the dog and then squeal when he joins her.

This evening, however, instead of songs about rainbows and how awesome she is, we heard screams of "IT BURNS!"  "HELP ME!  OH SOOOOMMMMEEEOOONNNEEE HELP ME!"  "IT BURNS!"  "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!?!"

El Hubbo and I looked quizzically at each other and then dashed for the bathroom.

I pull back the curtain, and my naked little girl was screaming and rubbing her eyes.

"What is wrong baby??"

"IT BURNS!  HELP ME OH HELP ME!  DO SOMETHING!"

"Well, let me see?"

"NOOOOOOOO!  I CAN'T OPEN MY EYES!  HELP ME!  IT BURNS!  OH MAMA, DO SOMETHING! IT'S SPREADING!  MY CHEEKS, OH MY CHEEKS!  IT BURNS!"

I am completely dumbfounded.  El Hubbo and I look at each other and it is clear that the Parents of the Year have no idea what is going on.  I finally reach my hand into the shower, half afraid that maybe acid is flowing forth from the shower head, and I was about to watch the skin melt from my hand.

It was just water, whew.  Skin still intact.

"WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING ME?!?"

El Hubbo and I begin quizzing her.  Every question was met with:  "I DON'T KNOW! IT BURNS!  DO SOMETHING!"

Finally, El Hubbo looks at me and says, "Did she wash her hands after she brought in the jalapenos?"

JALAPENOS!

I snapped my fingers and ran to the kitchen to get the milk.  We rinsed her face and hands, washed her eyes out, and slowly she became a wet, wiggly, snotty mess in the shower.

We snickered (out of her earshot) and made comment to each other that we bet she'd remember to wash her hands after picking jalapenos from now on!

But there is more to the story......

A few days later, she proudly announced that her sentence had won Best Sentence in class.   Take a gander at this, and tell me you don't stifle a laugh:




"My lips burned with intensity and my eyes hurt from rubbing them after touching jalapenos."

 And that Public Service Announcement comes to you courtesy of Little Sunshine.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Uno Lampino

 El Hubbo started the conversation with "Now, promise you won't kill him." That immediately got my attention.   "He broke one of your lamps when he came in the house with the weed eater.  Like beyond repair." I asked, "Why was he bringing the weed eater through the house?" "Well, he cleaned it up and he feels bad," El Hubbo said.  "I thought I should call and give you warning.  We've spent so much time and money getting him to this point....." "Ugh."  I hung up. Upon my arrival home, I saw the lampshade on the counter.  Then I saw the boy child.  I grabbed him in a big hug.  "Your daddy called and told me you wanted to take me lamp shopping.  That is so sweet of you!" He looked a bit bewildered but relieved that I had not immediately gone for the jugular.  "Uh, yeah, ok." "I'm so excited that I'm getting new lamps for the living room!" "Wait?  Lamps?  Don't you mean 'l...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Simple Virtual Christmas Letter 2020

 I used to send out a Christmas card with usually funny pictures of my offspring and a Christmas letter.  A couple years ago, I noticed I received only a couple Christmas cards and I noticed how expensive my little project was, and I noticed how expensive Number One Son's braces were going to be, and I decided that the card and letter tradition had probably gone the way of others. and it was time to stop.  My holiday spirit died a little that day. And, then, a miracle.  It's 2020 and I have received a record number of Christmas cards!  Actual, in the mailbox, Christmas cards!  And, several virtual cards (which I still give points for as it takes time and planning.) My holiday spirit enjoyed that little boost.   So, as it is too late to assemble the actual card and letter,  here's the resurrected virtual annual report of the Martinez Clan: Number One Son has grown to the point he looks his mama in the eye.  He sidles up to her often to se...
Post a Comment
Read more

Doin' Cowboy Stuff

"Steer's out!" was the call El Hubbo got last Saturday.  We were outside on our back porch, enjoying our newly cleaned up space, when our friend and neighbor down the road called. He'd just gotten two steers the night before, and we'd gone to help him unload. "They are a bit bigger than I thought they were going to be," he said.  He'd planned to get a couple steers to feed out and then have butchered.  Usually that translates into a 300 - 500 lb calf, and you feed them out to about 1000 - 1300 lbs.  When we arrived, we were greeted by two solid black, 900+ lb steers who were not too happy with their current circumstances.   Mean would be an understatement.  They were in the trailer, but they eyed us with a "We're bigger and badder than you" look in their eyes.  El Hubbo and I looked at each other a bit surprised, and then we hopped out and got to work.  The trailer was backed up, the gates were opened and out they charged!  Around the h...
Post a Comment
Read more