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PSA of Burning Importance


There are things my friends from the north will never be able to fully appreciate.  One of those things is the satisfaction of growing your very own cooking staple:  jalapenos.  We Texans love our jalapenos.  They can go in almost anything.  I spend so much money on jalapenos for various recipes that I decided this year I would grow my own.

The kids have been fascinated.  They report daily on the plants' progress, tallying the totals for each plant and letting me know if some of the jalapenos are turning red, which is a little past the prime of their use for my cooking.

Little Sunshine was giving me her report and brought in a few jalapenos one night.  She showed me they were red and asked what I wanted her to do with them.  I told her thank you, and that I was not in need of jalapenos at just that moment, so why not put them in the kitchen.

She skipped away, and I did not give it another thought.  El Hubbo hollered at her that it was time to take her shower.  She skipped back in my bedroom, wrapped in a towel, and headed for the shower.

Now, the shower process for the tiniest human in the house is generally the longest for any human in the house.  On average, she spends 30-45 minutes.  I mean, it takes time to clean that little body, sing songs, wash hair, sing more songs, tease the dog and then squeal when he joins her.

This evening, however, instead of songs about rainbows and how awesome she is, we heard screams of "IT BURNS!"  "HELP ME!  OH SOOOOMMMMEEEOOONNNEEE HELP ME!"  "IT BURNS!"  "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!?!"

El Hubbo and I looked quizzically at each other and then dashed for the bathroom.

I pull back the curtain, and my naked little girl was screaming and rubbing her eyes.

"What is wrong baby??"

"IT BURNS!  HELP ME OH HELP ME!  DO SOMETHING!"

"Well, let me see?"

"NOOOOOOOO!  I CAN'T OPEN MY EYES!  HELP ME!  IT BURNS!  OH MAMA, DO SOMETHING! IT'S SPREADING!  MY CHEEKS, OH MY CHEEKS!  IT BURNS!"

I am completely dumbfounded.  El Hubbo and I look at each other and it is clear that the Parents of the Year have no idea what is going on.  I finally reach my hand into the shower, half afraid that maybe acid is flowing forth from the shower head, and I was about to watch the skin melt from my hand.

It was just water, whew.  Skin still intact.

"WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING ME?!?"

El Hubbo and I begin quizzing her.  Every question was met with:  "I DON'T KNOW! IT BURNS!  DO SOMETHING!"

Finally, El Hubbo looks at me and says, "Did she wash her hands after she brought in the jalapenos?"

JALAPENOS!

I snapped my fingers and ran to the kitchen to get the milk.  We rinsed her face and hands, washed her eyes out, and slowly she became a wet, wiggly, snotty mess in the shower.

We snickered (out of her earshot) and made comment to each other that we bet she'd remember to wash her hands after picking jalapenos from now on!

But there is more to the story......

A few days later, she proudly announced that her sentence had won Best Sentence in class.   Take a gander at this, and tell me you don't stifle a laugh:




"My lips burned with intensity and my eyes hurt from rubbing them after touching jalapenos."

 And that Public Service Announcement comes to you courtesy of Little Sunshine.

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