I cannot make this stuff up. When I say my life is here to entertain others, I really mean it.
Tonight I was exhausted. I have three stacks of projects on my desk that I literally broke out a ruler and measured today. Each stack measured approximately 6 inches. That is 18 inches of projects that everyone involved believes should be my first priority. EIGHTEEN INCHES. This does not even include emails, walk-in traffic/questions, etc. I shouldn't complain as I have a good job, of which I generally enjoy the associated tasks, but GOODNESS, EIGHTEEN INCHES!
I finally called it quits and decided to pray that it wouldn't multiply overnight. I'm convinced there is a secret project breeding program and my office has been designated as an ideal habitat for such activity.
I rushed home to meet someone who planned to try to convince me to buy Cosco knives. I ran (ok, limped hurriedly) around the house trying to "fake clean" it to the point it would be not too unpresentable. I mean I lit a candle, made the boy-child take out the trash, and hid the dirty dishes under the sink....a real effort was made here! Five minutes before our appointment, she texts me and tells me we can just do the demo online and sends me a link. I look at the link, and it isn't really a demo.....it is a catalog. And then she texts to see if I would like to order anything. Sorry, Sweetie, but I only order from those who at least fake an effort to really try to sell me something. I have plenty of knives.
At this point, I look pitifully at El Hubbo and ask if we can go to town for dinner. He looks like he'd rather stay home, but then considers the fact that I have sunk so low in my chair I am in danger of falling out and he would then have to help me up off the floor.....ok, he agrees to go get pizza. Of course we have to go get it as we live one-half mile beyond the delivery boundary line, and they absolutely, positively will not go beyond the boundary line when making deliveries no matter how much you try to bribe them.
We round up the children and actually make them put on pants so we can go eat. We're not even sure when they showered last.....
We arrived at Dominos and ordered. We received our pizza and were munching away and I was visiting with my dad on the phone when we see a car pull up and come to a rapid stop right behind our vehicle. And a "shadow" marked Sheriff's vehicle screeches to a stop, lights flashing, and a deputy gets out and advances rapidly to the driver's side of the first car. Another LEO gets out (wearing an ATF vest) and positions herself at the back opposite corner with her hand on her holstered gun. El Hubbo had his back to the windows that direction and I motioned for him to check it out.
Of course, Little Sunshine takes this opportunity to announce to the restaurant, "HEY! LOOK AT THE COPS DAD! ARE THEY GONNA ARREST HIM???"
I tell dad, hey, I gotta go, need to pay attention.
El Hubbo has put a restraining hand on Number One Son to keep him from running up and plastering his nose up against the window.
Ever helpful Little Sunshine starts asking her father and I if we have our "friends". (Yes, it's code. You'll just have to figure it out.) We tell her to hush, we do not discuss our "friends" in public.
It was just like our own, personal episode of CSI. The kids sat happily finishing their pizza, giving play-by-play commentary: "Hey, are they reading him his rights? What does that mean? Isn't Miranda a girl's name? It starts, You have the right to remain silent, anything you say CAN and WILL be used against you in a court of law."
I made a mental note to be quicker about erasing my cop dramas from the recorded shows on our t.v.
El Hubbo wasn't much better. He's grinning and almost jumped out of his chair with excitement when he saw one of the officers pull a rather large revolver and holster out of the car. "Look at that hogleg!"
I made a mental note to limit El Hubbo's John Wayne movie consumption.
The officers were in very cautionary stances, so El Hubbo and I kept an eye on the situation. We were toward the back of the restaurant, with an exit door nearby. We asked the kids, if they knew what they were to do if for some reason the guy tried to run in the restaurant.
"Get down, get low, get hidden!" Yes, and be quiet, my babies. Side lecture: In all seriousness, El Hubbo and I have attempted to prepare our children to react in the best way possible to maximize survival should an active shooter situation arise. We believe that evil exists in this world, and there is no way to legislate evil. It is evil because it does not obey moral or statutory laws. This has been the case since the dawn of time. We believe in being prepared to combat evil appropriately and individually if necessary to save our or other's lives, especially that of our children. Lecture over.
"Hey! They are putting handcuffs on that dude!" So much for quiet.
We continued to sit for awhile, at which point, Number One Son says, "Dessert, anyone?" We found that a little too funny.
Finally, the situation was over, the suspect arrested and hauled away in a second Law Enforcement Vehicle, someone arrived to drive his car away. We gathered up our left over pizza and headed for the car. The kids waved at the officers still sitting in their vehicle with the lights flashing. I'm pretty sure El Hubbo winked at the pretty ATF agent and gave her a thumbs up. I back out and obey all, and I do mean ALL, traffic laws.
The kids chattered away, breaking into "Bad boys, bad boys, whacha gonna do?" in the backseat.
And, that, folks is how the Martinez's do "Dinner and a Show".
Tonight I was exhausted. I have three stacks of projects on my desk that I literally broke out a ruler and measured today. Each stack measured approximately 6 inches. That is 18 inches of projects that everyone involved believes should be my first priority. EIGHTEEN INCHES. This does not even include emails, walk-in traffic/questions, etc. I shouldn't complain as I have a good job, of which I generally enjoy the associated tasks, but GOODNESS, EIGHTEEN INCHES!
I finally called it quits and decided to pray that it wouldn't multiply overnight. I'm convinced there is a secret project breeding program and my office has been designated as an ideal habitat for such activity.
I rushed home to meet someone who planned to try to convince me to buy Cosco knives. I ran (ok, limped hurriedly) around the house trying to "fake clean" it to the point it would be not too unpresentable. I mean I lit a candle, made the boy-child take out the trash, and hid the dirty dishes under the sink....a real effort was made here! Five minutes before our appointment, she texts me and tells me we can just do the demo online and sends me a link. I look at the link, and it isn't really a demo.....it is a catalog. And then she texts to see if I would like to order anything. Sorry, Sweetie, but I only order from those who at least fake an effort to really try to sell me something. I have plenty of knives.
At this point, I look pitifully at El Hubbo and ask if we can go to town for dinner. He looks like he'd rather stay home, but then considers the fact that I have sunk so low in my chair I am in danger of falling out and he would then have to help me up off the floor.....ok, he agrees to go get pizza. Of course we have to go get it as we live one-half mile beyond the delivery boundary line, and they absolutely, positively will not go beyond the boundary line when making deliveries no matter how much you try to bribe them.
We round up the children and actually make them put on pants so we can go eat. We're not even sure when they showered last.....
We arrived at Dominos and ordered. We received our pizza and were munching away and I was visiting with my dad on the phone when we see a car pull up and come to a rapid stop right behind our vehicle. And a "shadow" marked Sheriff's vehicle screeches to a stop, lights flashing, and a deputy gets out and advances rapidly to the driver's side of the first car. Another LEO gets out (wearing an ATF vest) and positions herself at the back opposite corner with her hand on her holstered gun. El Hubbo had his back to the windows that direction and I motioned for him to check it out.
Of course, Little Sunshine takes this opportunity to announce to the restaurant, "HEY! LOOK AT THE COPS DAD! ARE THEY GONNA ARREST HIM???"
I tell dad, hey, I gotta go, need to pay attention.
El Hubbo has put a restraining hand on Number One Son to keep him from running up and plastering his nose up against the window.
Ever helpful Little Sunshine starts asking her father and I if we have our "friends". (Yes, it's code. You'll just have to figure it out.) We tell her to hush, we do not discuss our "friends" in public.
It was just like our own, personal episode of CSI. The kids sat happily finishing their pizza, giving play-by-play commentary: "Hey, are they reading him his rights? What does that mean? Isn't Miranda a girl's name? It starts, You have the right to remain silent, anything you say CAN and WILL be used against you in a court of law."
I made a mental note to be quicker about erasing my cop dramas from the recorded shows on our t.v.
El Hubbo wasn't much better. He's grinning and almost jumped out of his chair with excitement when he saw one of the officers pull a rather large revolver and holster out of the car. "Look at that hogleg!"
I made a mental note to limit El Hubbo's John Wayne movie consumption.
The officers were in very cautionary stances, so El Hubbo and I kept an eye on the situation. We were toward the back of the restaurant, with an exit door nearby. We asked the kids, if they knew what they were to do if for some reason the guy tried to run in the restaurant.
"Get down, get low, get hidden!" Yes, and be quiet, my babies. Side lecture: In all seriousness, El Hubbo and I have attempted to prepare our children to react in the best way possible to maximize survival should an active shooter situation arise. We believe that evil exists in this world, and there is no way to legislate evil. It is evil because it does not obey moral or statutory laws. This has been the case since the dawn of time. We believe in being prepared to combat evil appropriately and individually if necessary to save our or other's lives, especially that of our children. Lecture over.
"Hey! They are putting handcuffs on that dude!" So much for quiet.
We continued to sit for awhile, at which point, Number One Son says, "Dessert, anyone?" We found that a little too funny.
Finally, the situation was over, the suspect arrested and hauled away in a second Law Enforcement Vehicle, someone arrived to drive his car away. We gathered up our left over pizza and headed for the car. The kids waved at the officers still sitting in their vehicle with the lights flashing. I'm pretty sure El Hubbo winked at the pretty ATF agent and gave her a thumbs up. I back out and obey all, and I do mean ALL, traffic laws.
The kids chattered away, breaking into "Bad boys, bad boys, whacha gonna do?" in the backseat.
And, that, folks is how the Martinez's do "Dinner and a Show".
I also a Mom and now a Grandma with 2 and one on the way. I loved your Blog. Very interesting.
ReplyDeleteThank you! My posts are not as frequent as I like, but you are welcomed back anytime!
ReplyDelete