I have dreaded it all summer. Not sending my kids back to school.....no, that I very much look forward to. It's the school supply shopping that causes a panic attack.
I take vacation time from work so that I do not have to fight the weekend or after-hours crowds. I usually try to take one kid at a time, but this year that did not pan out. So, today, early, I made my children get up and leave the house early so we could hit the store before the crowds.
I had a plan. We headed to Walmart as I was anxious to make this a one-stop shopping experience. Each kid was allowed to grab a basket. I manned the list. No one else was in the school supply aisles when we got there at 9:00 a.m. (The children demanded to be fed breakfast, and I figured their having full bellies might make them more compliant. Nah, it didn't work.)
I barked orders like a general storming the beach with her troops. The kids ran, jumped, grabbed and were having a generally good time tossing items into their individual baskets. There were some minor battles over colors, especially when there were not enough to go around. We chopped away at the list, marking things off, searching and finding. I was hopeful that this was going to be a smooth experience - one and done!
But not so. There are some items that proved to be difficult to find. You see, the list could not call for some generic supplies. These teachers had to be picky. "4 plastic folders with pockets and brads (2 green, 1 red, 1 purple)". I am generally pro-teacher. I most often side with them in the kid vs teacher struggle. But when they start to get picky, I start to get cranky. We found all but the elusive red plastic folder with pockets and brads. Oh, and multiplication flash cards.
Not to worry, we would go to Target and knock out these two items. We arrived at Target, and the red folder and the multiplication cards were no where to be found.
Not to worry, we would go to Office Depot and knock out these two items. We arrived at Office Depot, where I may have suffered a mental break. I wandered the aisles muttering to myself loudly, "WHY ARE THESE TEACHERS SO PICKY? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE RED?" I know I saw several people in red polos ducking around the aisle edges as they heard me coming. It became readily apparent to me that subtraction, addition and division are not being taught in our schools as flashcard sets for those math concepts are plentiful and fully stocked on shelves. The red folder and the multiplication cards were no where to be found.
Not to worry, we would go to Staples and knock out these two items. We arrived at Staples, I entered the store loudly proclaiming, "THERE HAD BETTER BE A STUPID RED PLASTIC FOLDER WITH BRADS HERE....." People looked at me strangely as I stomped up and down the aisles grabbing anything that was red, ripping it open to check for brads. And the red folder and the multiplication cards were no where to be found.
At this point, my patience was shot. Little Sunshine found an orange plastic folder with pockets and brads. CLOSE ENOUGH. You have to have red to make orange, and if a teacher was foolish enough to challenge me on this, they had better be ready to go twelve rounds with one mad mama who would show no mercy.
I looked at Jake and said, "Don't you already know how to multiply?" He said yes, mostly, but he struggled with some of the larger numbers. "Well, close enough. God made calculators for a reason." He looked at me as though I had lost my mind. "But, mom, I need flashcards."
I gave an exasperated sigh, "Fine. We'll make you some. Grab some notecards."
"Mom, one more store, please!"
I gave an even more exasperated sigh and we got back in the car. We went to Dollar Tree, of all places. I located flashcards - subtraction, addition, division. I almost collapsed and started to cry. I grabbed the box and for one moment thought about chunking it as hard as I could across the store. BUT WAIT - in the back of the box, there it was! The multiplication cards! Granted they are from Dollar Tree, and granted there may or may not have been a card in there that said 3 x 4 = 11, but they are in a box that says "multiplication cards", and so we grabbed them and ran for the checkout.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this we managed to buy tennis shoes and a first day of school outfit for each kid. And it was relatively uneventful. Surprisingly. I think the kids had started to see that their mother's eyes were a little too wild, and she was beginning to gnash her teeth. Arguing was not in their best interest. I raise no fools.
I may need therapy to recover from the experience, but the kids are in the kitchen happily dividing up and packing everything into their backpacks. So, we are now ready for school. And, with a mostly correct set of supplies.
I take vacation time from work so that I do not have to fight the weekend or after-hours crowds. I usually try to take one kid at a time, but this year that did not pan out. So, today, early, I made my children get up and leave the house early so we could hit the store before the crowds.
I had a plan. We headed to Walmart as I was anxious to make this a one-stop shopping experience. Each kid was allowed to grab a basket. I manned the list. No one else was in the school supply aisles when we got there at 9:00 a.m. (The children demanded to be fed breakfast, and I figured their having full bellies might make them more compliant. Nah, it didn't work.)
I barked orders like a general storming the beach with her troops. The kids ran, jumped, grabbed and were having a generally good time tossing items into their individual baskets. There were some minor battles over colors, especially when there were not enough to go around. We chopped away at the list, marking things off, searching and finding. I was hopeful that this was going to be a smooth experience - one and done!
But not so. There are some items that proved to be difficult to find. You see, the list could not call for some generic supplies. These teachers had to be picky. "4 plastic folders with pockets and brads (2 green, 1 red, 1 purple)". I am generally pro-teacher. I most often side with them in the kid vs teacher struggle. But when they start to get picky, I start to get cranky. We found all but the elusive red plastic folder with pockets and brads. Oh, and multiplication flash cards.
Not to worry, we would go to Target and knock out these two items. We arrived at Target, and the red folder and the multiplication cards were no where to be found.
Not to worry, we would go to Office Depot and knock out these two items. We arrived at Office Depot, where I may have suffered a mental break. I wandered the aisles muttering to myself loudly, "WHY ARE THESE TEACHERS SO PICKY? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE RED?" I know I saw several people in red polos ducking around the aisle edges as they heard me coming. It became readily apparent to me that subtraction, addition and division are not being taught in our schools as flashcard sets for those math concepts are plentiful and fully stocked on shelves. The red folder and the multiplication cards were no where to be found.
Not to worry, we would go to Staples and knock out these two items. We arrived at Staples, I entered the store loudly proclaiming, "THERE HAD BETTER BE A STUPID RED PLASTIC FOLDER WITH BRADS HERE....." People looked at me strangely as I stomped up and down the aisles grabbing anything that was red, ripping it open to check for brads. And the red folder and the multiplication cards were no where to be found.
At this point, my patience was shot. Little Sunshine found an orange plastic folder with pockets and brads. CLOSE ENOUGH. You have to have red to make orange, and if a teacher was foolish enough to challenge me on this, they had better be ready to go twelve rounds with one mad mama who would show no mercy.
I looked at Jake and said, "Don't you already know how to multiply?" He said yes, mostly, but he struggled with some of the larger numbers. "Well, close enough. God made calculators for a reason." He looked at me as though I had lost my mind. "But, mom, I need flashcards."
I gave an exasperated sigh, "Fine. We'll make you some. Grab some notecards."
"Mom, one more store, please!"
I gave an even more exasperated sigh and we got back in the car. We went to Dollar Tree, of all places. I located flashcards - subtraction, addition, division. I almost collapsed and started to cry. I grabbed the box and for one moment thought about chunking it as hard as I could across the store. BUT WAIT - in the back of the box, there it was! The multiplication cards! Granted they are from Dollar Tree, and granted there may or may not have been a card in there that said 3 x 4 = 11, but they are in a box that says "multiplication cards", and so we grabbed them and ran for the checkout.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this we managed to buy tennis shoes and a first day of school outfit for each kid. And it was relatively uneventful. Surprisingly. I think the kids had started to see that their mother's eyes were a little too wild, and she was beginning to gnash her teeth. Arguing was not in their best interest. I raise no fools.
I may need therapy to recover from the experience, but the kids are in the kitchen happily dividing up and packing everything into their backpacks. So, we are now ready for school. And, with a mostly correct set of supplies.
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