I have many moments wherein I adamantly believe that my son's first grade teacher whoops and does a dance of joy as he exits her classroom each day. I'm quite certain she fervently prays for strength and patience each night just to be able to make it through her very own live version of a Calvin and Hobbs cartoon strip.
Each Tuesday, Jake's teacher send home all of his work from the previous week. Tuesday evenings, we have made certain to set aside a special time for him to go through each paper with us and show us what he has learned or what he thought about the assignments. This week is no exception, however, it provided me with a few good laughs.
This week's folder had several notebook paper pages that were not graded. I asked Jake what the assignments were, and he informed his teacher had him doing "free writing". As a former English teacher myself, I love that he is writing so much. Here is a sampling of what he wrote: (grammatical errors are intentional, stories are typed exactly as they were written.)
"Look it's elament man. he has the power of the 4 elament's water earth fire air. he can use these elament's to defete the milk man. Banana peal strech and robot mokey. he's in new york city. I wonder maybe he'll come to Lubbock. O well If I'm thinking I'm thinking. And I'm just messing with ya. Ow and I'm daydreaming by the way."
This one had a title: "Boys vs Girls, The Showdown part 2" "So far the body are beating the firsl by boys 20 girls 2. Maybe whoever wins gets 4 tickets to the Bon Jovi consert. and they make the feild goll they win the crowd goes wild the boys gets 4 tickets to the bon Jovi consort. Boys rule girls druell." (I have no idea what may have happened in The Showdown part 1.)
And then this one: "The teenage mutain ninja turtles are ready for anything. They will fight evil they are ready for Shreder. They have all kinds of weapons. go teenage mutain ninja turles go you can do it. go go go! I know you can do it."
As I mentioned, his talents are not only in writing, but in offering critiques. Here is what he had to say about a poem titles "Pumpkin" by Helen H. Moore. "This poem reminded me of when I did Jackalanterns. I did not like this story. I just can't say, but let me tell you this it was groce!!!!!!!!"
Overall, lest his grammar and spelling concern you, he generally makes almost all perfect scores on normal papers. One assignment, however, was returned to us with the teacher having written a big question mark at the top. Nope, his name was there - reading the paper ensures that you know who it belonged to. The instructions were to "Draw a picture of a good citizen whose job helps the Earth. Write one sentence about the job." What does my darling eldest write? "A rock star helps earth." Beneath were stick figure pics of a drummer and a singer at a microphone with balloons "Shot through the hart and you're to late, you give love a bad name." (It kind of hurt me that he got the lyrics wrong.)
So now you know that elament man will save us all from the blight that is the milk man. Boys rule girls druell. The teenage mutain ninja turtles can do it, and avoid the poem "Pumpkin" at all costs. Oh, and rest easy tonight in the knowledge that Bon Jovi will indeed help the earth through singing "Shot through the Heart".
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