Skip to main content

Tuesday Night Homework Folder

I have many moments wherein I adamantly believe that my son's first grade teacher whoops and does a dance of joy as he exits her classroom each day.  I'm quite certain she fervently prays for strength and patience each night just to be able to make it through her very own live version of a Calvin and Hobbs cartoon strip.

Each Tuesday, Jake's teacher send home all of his work from the previous week.  Tuesday evenings, we have made certain to set aside a special time for him to go through each paper with us and show us what he has learned or what he thought about the assignments.  This week is no exception, however, it provided me with a few good laughs. 

This week's folder had several notebook paper pages that were not graded.  I asked Jake what the assignments were, and he informed his teacher had him doing "free writing".  As a former English teacher myself, I love that he is writing so much.  Here is a sampling of what he wrote:  (grammatical errors are intentional, stories are typed exactly as they were written.)

"Look it's elament man.  he has the power of the 4 elament's water earth fire air.  he can use these elament's to defete the milk man.  Banana peal strech and robot mokey.  he's in new york city.  I wonder maybe he'll come to Lubbock.  O well If I'm thinking I'm thinking.  And I'm just messing with ya.  Ow and I'm daydreaming by the way."

This one had a title:  "Boys vs Girls, The Showdown part 2"  "So far the body are beating the firsl by boys 20 girls 2.  Maybe whoever wins gets 4 tickets to the Bon Jovi consert. and they make the feild goll they win the crowd goes wild the boys gets 4 tickets to the bon Jovi consort.  Boys rule girls druell."   (I have no idea what may have happened in The Showdown part 1.)

And then this one:  "The teenage mutain ninja turtles are ready for anything.  They will fight evil they are ready for Shreder.  They have all kinds of weapons.  go teenage mutain ninja turles go you can do it.  go go go!  I know you can do it."

As I mentioned, his talents are not only in writing, but in offering critiques.  Here is what he had to say about  a poem titles "Pumpkin" by Helen H. Moore.  "This poem reminded me of when I did Jackalanterns.  I did not like this story.  I just can't say, but let me tell you this it was groce!!!!!!!!"

Overall, lest his grammar and spelling concern you, he generally makes almost all perfect scores on normal papers.  One assignment, however, was returned to us with the teacher having written a big question mark at the top.  Nope, his name was there - reading the paper ensures that you know who it belonged to.  The instructions were to "Draw a picture of a good citizen whose job helps the Earth.  Write one sentence about the job."   What does my darling eldest write?  "A rock star helps earth."  Beneath were stick figure pics of a drummer and a singer at a microphone with balloons "Shot through the hart and you're to  late, you give love a bad name."  (It kind of hurt me that he got the lyrics wrong.)

So  now you know that elament man will save us all from the blight that is the milk man.  Boys rule girls druell.  The teenage mutain ninja turtles can do it, and avoid the poem "Pumpkin" at all costs.  Oh, and rest easy tonight in the knowledge that Bon Jovi will indeed help the earth through singing "Shot through the Heart".  


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Uno Lampino

 El Hubbo started the conversation with "Now, promise you won't kill him." That immediately got my attention.   "He broke one of your lamps when he came in the house with the weed eater.  Like beyond repair." I asked, "Why was he bringing the weed eater through the house?" "Well, he cleaned it up and he feels bad," El Hubbo said.  "I thought I should call and give you warning.  We've spent so much time and money getting him to this point....." "Ugh."  I hung up. Upon my arrival home, I saw the lampshade on the counter.  Then I saw the boy child.  I grabbed him in a big hug.  "Your daddy called and told me you wanted to take me lamp shopping.  That is so sweet of you!" He looked a bit bewildered but relieved that I had not immediately gone for the jugular.  "Uh, yeah, ok." "I'm so excited that I'm getting new lamps for the living room!" "Wait?  Lamps?  Don't you mean 'l
Post a Comment
Read more

A Simple Virtual Christmas Letter 2020

 I used to send out a Christmas card with usually funny pictures of my offspring and a Christmas letter.  A couple years ago, I noticed I received only a couple Christmas cards and I noticed how expensive my little project was, and I noticed how expensive Number One Son's braces were going to be, and I decided that the card and letter tradition had probably gone the way of others. and it was time to stop.  My holiday spirit died a little that day. And, then, a miracle.  It's 2020 and I have received a record number of Christmas cards!  Actual, in the mailbox, Christmas cards!  And, several virtual cards (which I still give points for as it takes time and planning.) My holiday spirit enjoyed that little boost.   So, as it is too late to assemble the actual card and letter,  here's the resurrected virtual annual report of the Martinez Clan: Number One Son has grown to the point he looks his mama in the eye.  He sidles up to her often to see if he has passed her.  She reminds
Post a Comment
Read more

Doin' Cowboy Stuff

"Steer's out!" was the call El Hubbo got last Saturday.  We were outside on our back porch, enjoying our newly cleaned up space, when our friend and neighbor down the road called. He'd just gotten two steers the night before, and we'd gone to help him unload. "They are a bit bigger than I thought they were going to be," he said.  He'd planned to get a couple steers to feed out and then have butchered.  Usually that translates into a 300 - 500 lb calf, and you feed them out to about 1000 - 1300 lbs.  When we arrived, we were greeted by two solid black, 900+ lb steers who were not too happy with their current circumstances.   Mean would be an understatement.  They were in the trailer, but they eyed us with a "We're bigger and badder than you" look in their eyes.  El Hubbo and I looked at each other a bit surprised, and then we hopped out and got to work.  The trailer was backed up, the gates were opened and out they charged!  Around the h
Post a Comment
Read more