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Cult of Beauty

I've always heard that "beauty comes at a price".  Recent experiences have proven that statement true.  I was "given" a "free" facial.  Who could turn that down?  Great!  SIGN ME UP!  I agree to a time with the very kind lady who called, and then she told me to bring friends.

My friends were all busy that night (and, perhaps a little quicker to pick up on the fact that nothing in life is "free") so, I went to the appointment by myself.  Doing things by myself is not that unusual for me, as many of my friends over the years can attest, however, it did seem to come as a disappointment to the kind facial lady.  We were placed in a little room, and we started my nice, quiet, self-applied facial.  (What do you expect for free?)

My facial went well, but then before I knew it, the products were paraded in front of me, and I was purchasing, and my facial was no longer free.  The evil siren, pardon me, I mean kind facial lady, quickly had me signed up for a follow up "free color consult" appointment.  Turns out, the kind facial lady is also a recent entrepeneur and purveyor of makeup.  Apparently somewhere along the way she had hypnotized me and I found myself agreeing to bring along friends and they could have "free facials" too.

Like a good little automaton, I called my friends and set up a "girl's night".  I was instructed to arrive an hour early so my color consult could be finished, and then I could greet my friends.  I arrived on time, but I was not ushered into a quiet little space.

Anyone who knows me knows that people I do not know should approach me quietly and slowly, or I may immediately assume an attack position and begin snarling.  It's kind of like cornering a bobcat - not generally a good idea, and if you'll just give me the right-of-way, I'll move on down the road and won't have to maim you.  The lady who met me at the door apparently did not get the memo.  She quite aggressively introduced herself and then all 5 foot 2 of her tried to take my hand and pull me into a room full of other people I did not know.  I resisted the urge to slap her down to the floor.  She was dressed in purple, and I could see other similarly-attired women in the background.  I immediately started to work on my exit strategy. 

I was dragged into a room with several tables - I quickly scanned and found a chair where my back could be to the wall, just in case I would have to fight my way out.  Turns out that this night was to be a love fest for local makeup cult members.  I thought to myself that I could probably mark the three friends I had conned into coming right off my friend list (which is not that long to begin with.)  I figured they might pull into the parking lot, see what was happening and decide to leave me to my own defenses.  But, good friends that they are, they showed up!  (Silly girls.)

We were dragged into a large meeting room to observe and report on the cult activities.  The Uber Makeup Nazi gave a rousing pep talk.  I can't really remember much (I am in therapy to try to forget), however, I do recall some of these statements:

"Earned a WAY CUTE bling calculator"
"Your being here blew their skirts up!"
"Eyebrows are a big hairy deal.  I don't go to the mailbox without my eyebrows!"

I'm not really the "bling" kind of girl.  I had no desire to blow anyone's skirt up.  And I am still pondering how eyebrows could be left behind while one makes a trip to the mailbox.  (I will agree with the statement that eyebrows are hairy.  Duh?)  Yes, I will be in therapy for awhile.

We avoided most of the calls to action to join cult, survived our facials and went to eat/detox afterward.  I was in much more comfortable surroundings with my small group of friends, as evidenced by one of them discussing a ten-day cleanse with our waiter, folllowed by an indepth discussion of dairy allergies.  Beauty does come at a price, but time spent with friends was well worth it!

Comments

  1. We still love you especially because you didn't post all of the things you were taking notes on at dinner!! Ha!

    ReplyDelete

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