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The Vegas Chronicles

OK, Ok, I know.  It's been awhile.  But I've been busy.  Since we last reported on the everyday goings-on of my life, I've been to Vegas, baby!  I had a conference for work that I had to go to.  I mentioned to El Hubbo a couple months ago that I would be gone for almost a week.  "Where?" he asks.  "Vegas."  I replied.  "When do we go?" he asked while pulling out his calendar. 

So, there would be no wild solo trip for me - had to take the hall monitor with me.  (Yeah, right.)  Much coordination was required and Muzzy and Oso were contracted to act as wardens for the kids.  They arrived on Saturday and after a quick orientation, I wished them luck and peeled out of the driveway on my way to the airport.  El Hubbo would not join me until the next day since he had students at contests and felt that perhaps he should take care of some of his own work responsibilities.  I'm sure he had a lovely time with his in-laws, and I know for a fact his suitcases had been packed for five days, so I'm sure he barely waved goodbye as he headed for the airport the next day.

Upon arriving in Las Vegas, I made a few observations before I even left the airport:  Most people look much worse for wear as they are waiting to leave.  I also was quite fascinated by the vending machines.  I'm certain nothing says I love you like "fresh" flowers from an airport vending machine.  Just drop in a few bills/quarters and you can have your bouquet ready for when you make it through the drive-through marriage lane.

Caught a cab and a short ride later, we arrived at the hotel.  I love when I get to stay nice places and work foots the bill.  The Mandalay Bay was the location for the conference, and the accommodations were wonderful.  Quite honestly, I could have been content sprawled out on the chaise lounge in my room reading for the next several days, but I did manage to drag myself out to sight see a little. 

A trip downtown with co-workers almost put my sarcasm gene into overload.  People of Vegas - if you don't want me mocking you, don't make it so easy.  I got to see a whole slew of Transformer characters, several Elvis impersonators, and apparently Michael Jackson is not really dead - he's alive and well and taking pictures with tourists in Downtown Vegas.

I returned to the hotel early as I was to attend meetings all the next day.  Meetings are meetings - not much to say about those.  When they were over, I met El Hubbo in the lobby of the hotel as he had just arrived.  We changed clothes and headed to Caesars Palace where we had dinner reservations at Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill.  (You didn't really think we would travel and not sample the fare, did you???)  The restaurant was gorgeous.  Our waiter's name was Peter or Paul or Luke or something.  I just remember he was an angel sent by Bobby Flay to convey the message of good food.  It was wonderful.  El Hubbo and I have learned a thing or two about camoflaging our hick-ness, and thanks to some pre-attire planning, we were actually seated toward the front of the restaurant.  Some nicer establishments have seated us in hidden dark corners near the kitchen door - the better not to be seen by high-class customers.  We dined on wonderful sweet potato soup, shrimp, New Mexico spice rubbed port tenderloin, sweet potato tamales, glazed ribeye, yum, yum.  El Hubbo looked up at me at one point and asked, "So, are we classy or at home?"  I catch him eyeing the bone lying on his plate, and through clenched teeth say, "CLASSY!".  He looked highly disappointed, but he managed to control himself.  He did have to remind me to stay classy when it became obvious that I was contemplating licking the warm chocolate drizzle off the plate of my dessert.

After such a gastronomical treat, we had to walk around a little.  We briefly contemplated trying to see the Bodies exhibit, but thought maybe it wasn't such a good idea with a full stomach.  If you haven't heard of this exhibit, it's where people have donated their bodies to science and they have basically been filleted so you can look at their innards.  Gross, but oddly fascinating.

Monday evening, we were fortunate to have front row tickets to see Cirque du Soleil's Mystere at Treasure Island.  It was wonderful and one of our group was even pulled into the show.  More sight seeing and not enough sleep was had.

As we were without the muchkins, we tried to take advantage of every date night we could.  Tuesday found us in an old mob hangout restaurant that was behind the strip of casinos.  Called Batista's, it was old world Italian.  Quite yummy, however, Mr. Chuckles, the waiter was not.  Real affable, that one.  Not.   The garlic bread did make up for some of the personality missing in our waiter.  Chunks of garlic were baked right in.  And, again, I say, Yum.

We decide to walk down the strip.  We got to see the fountains dance at the Bellagio.  A "Cops" camera crew and couple of Vegas's finest passed us.   El Hubbo ducked my roundhouse right (what his wife won't do to get on tv.)  Ok, not really.  But I thought about it.

Just a couple more notes for the People of Vegas:  Fat girls should not wear lace see-through dresses.  (Actually, no one should.)  And, it is hard to look classy if you have a three foot drinking glass strapped to your neck - even if you are in a tux and your newly wed wife is helping to guide you down the block.

El Hubbo had to return to Lubbock the next morning, and I prepared to return on Thursday.  I said a brief prayer for the TSA agent who would be met with an explosion of dirty clothes, gifts and makeup when they opened my bag.  Wearily, I returned to Lubbock and counted my blessings.  Two of those blessings gave me lots of hugs, kisses and giggles, which is much better than the food in Vegas!

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