Forgive the grammatical mistakes on this one. I am typing it out on my iPad and what with autocorrect and an abnormal keyboard, typos will just be a part of life. And, speaking of life, my son has just explained to me life according to Jake.
You see, apparently, women get fat and have a baby grow in their stomach. The baby is mysteriously born. It then grows, and grows,and grows until it is a big person. Once it is a big person, it starts to get old and fat ( and if you are a woman, you mysteriously born a kid or two) and then it dies.
"Wow, Jake, did you learn all that in school?" I ask, while mentally making a note to put a parent block on TLC and Discovery Health channels.
"Nope," he smugly says. "It's just something I thought of and like to call the People Cycle."
So, since my son has this whole People Cycle figured out at the ripe old age of six, I'm not sure if I should be relieved that some of the conversations that would have been scheduled closer to his teenage years can now be checked off the list, or if I should go cower in fear awaiting the next piece of deductive knowledge he decides to lay on me!
I used to send out a Christmas card with usually funny pictures of my offspring and a Christmas letter. A couple years ago, I noticed I received only a couple Christmas cards and I noticed how expensive my little project was, and I noticed how expensive Number One Son's braces were going to be, and I decided that the card and letter tradition had probably gone the way of others. and it was time to stop. My holiday spirit died a little that day. And, then, a miracle. It's 2020 and I have received a record number of Christmas cards! Actual, in the mailbox, Christmas cards! And, several virtual cards (which I still give points for as it takes time and planning.) My holiday spirit enjoyed that little boost. So, as it is too late to assemble the actual card and letter, here's the resurrected virtual annual report of the Martinez Clan: Number One Son has grown to the point he looks his mama in the eye. He sidles up to her often to se...
Be afraid. Be very afraid!!! :D
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