Forgive the grammatical mistakes on this one. I am typing it out on my iPad and what with autocorrect and an abnormal keyboard, typos will just be a part of life. And, speaking of life, my son has just explained to me life according to Jake.
You see, apparently, women get fat and have a baby grow in their stomach. The baby is mysteriously born. It then grows, and grows,and grows until it is a big person. Once it is a big person, it starts to get old and fat ( and if you are a woman, you mysteriously born a kid or two) and then it dies.
"Wow, Jake, did you learn all that in school?" I ask, while mentally making a note to put a parent block on TLC and Discovery Health channels.
"Nope," he smugly says. "It's just something I thought of and like to call the People Cycle."
So, since my son has this whole People Cycle figured out at the ripe old age of six, I'm not sure if I should be relieved that some of the conversations that would have been scheduled closer to his teenage years can now be checked off the list, or if I should go cower in fear awaiting the next piece of deductive knowledge he decides to lay on me!
El Hubbo started the conversation with "Now, promise you won't kill him." That immediately got my attention. "He broke one of your lamps when he came in the house with the weed eater. Like beyond repair." I asked, "Why was he bringing the weed eater through the house?" "Well, he cleaned it up and he feels bad," El Hubbo said. "I thought I should call and give you warning. We've spent so much time and money getting him to this point....." "Ugh." I hung up. Upon my arrival home, I saw the lampshade on the counter. Then I saw the boy child. I grabbed him in a big hug. "Your daddy called and told me you wanted to take me lamp shopping. That is so sweet of you!" He looked a bit bewildered but relieved that I had not immediately gone for the jugular. "Uh, yeah, ok." "I'm so excited that I'm getting new lamps for the living room!" "Wait? Lamps? Don't you mean 'l...
Be afraid. Be very afraid!!! :D
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