There are two weeks of the year one should really avoid the grocery store: the week of TGiving and the week of Christmas. I, however, forgot this golden rule until I pulled into the grocery store parking lot at 6:00 p.m. Monday night. While I am sure I probably need to park in the space farthest from the door more often, I wasn't really in the mood for a hike that night.
If I had missed that sign that I had picked the wrong day, the next was waiting on me when I went to grab a basket.....and all that were left were the ones with the squeaky, broken wheels. You the ones - the ones that the wheels don't move and the more stuff you put in your basket, the harder it is to push down the aisle? The only thing making me feel better about this basket is that it was leaving a black streak on the floors - that will teach the store to keep their baskets in good working order!
I broke out the coupon binder and started to muscle my way down the aisles with all the other crazy people. Fortunately, I wasn't after the usual holiday fare ingredients. I was just there to do my normal shopping. Which probably means I have double reason to have my head examined. The only thing that could have possibly made the experience a little more insane was if I had brought the munchkins with me. I consider this a great sign that with a little therapy I could possibly be declared sane soon.
I wove my way in and out of the other desperate shoppers and managed to give back the ol' evil eye to all those who gave me a disgusted look when they saw my coupon binder. My inner child was saying, "Nah, Nah, NuNah, Nah - I'm going to pay less for my groceries than you are!" But, the censor chip was fully engaged and kept me from actually verbalizing it. It was late in the day, and I was tired, and I'm not completely certain I was up to a cage match in the produce section.
After gathering everything that I felt I couldn't live without and had coupons for (chili sauce, white pepper seasoning, sausage, syrup, etc), it was time to head to the checkout line. Another bad sign is when the line you are in has you waiting back by the dairy section. Being in such a long line does give you the opportunity to scan other people's baskets to gain an insight into their lives. I quickly determined that the guy who hadn't shaved in several days with the box of crackers, canned turkey, box of instant potatoes, and case of beer who was scowling and ramming his basket into the backs of the legs of the lady in front of him was someone I would rather not get to know. On my other side was a lady with fresh collard greens, a huge ham, and the makings for a sweet potato pie. Now here was my soulmate. I decided to get to know her better and see if I could score an invite to her house. I'm sure El Hubbo and the kids could fend for themselves for TGiving.
Thirty minutes later, I was finally at the checkout lane. Surprisingly, the checkout lady and sacker boy were in relatively good spirits, even if they were confused by my non-TGiving purchases. Everything went smoothly until some of my coupons wouldn't ring up. All the people behind me started in with the deep sighs and eye-rolling. I just smiled sweetly back at them and stood my ground until I received the proper coupon discount. I did not endure this whole shopping experience to be denied my savings! The inner child in me was begging to stick out her tongue, but I managed to control her.
I followed my sacker boy out the door, and he only had to stop once and give me oxygen as we hiked to my car. I asked for a piggy back ride, but he just shook his head all wide-eyed and started running toward the lights of my car. I huffed, and I puffed, and I managed to catch up to him just as he got there. Ok, really he beat me there and had time to sit down and clean his fingernails, take a little nap, etc.
Loaded up, I headed for home, and promised myself that next year I would NOT repeat this mistake.
If I had missed that sign that I had picked the wrong day, the next was waiting on me when I went to grab a basket.....and all that were left were the ones with the squeaky, broken wheels. You the ones - the ones that the wheels don't move and the more stuff you put in your basket, the harder it is to push down the aisle? The only thing making me feel better about this basket is that it was leaving a black streak on the floors - that will teach the store to keep their baskets in good working order!
I broke out the coupon binder and started to muscle my way down the aisles with all the other crazy people. Fortunately, I wasn't after the usual holiday fare ingredients. I was just there to do my normal shopping. Which probably means I have double reason to have my head examined. The only thing that could have possibly made the experience a little more insane was if I had brought the munchkins with me. I consider this a great sign that with a little therapy I could possibly be declared sane soon.
I wove my way in and out of the other desperate shoppers and managed to give back the ol' evil eye to all those who gave me a disgusted look when they saw my coupon binder. My inner child was saying, "Nah, Nah, NuNah, Nah - I'm going to pay less for my groceries than you are!" But, the censor chip was fully engaged and kept me from actually verbalizing it. It was late in the day, and I was tired, and I'm not completely certain I was up to a cage match in the produce section.
After gathering everything that I felt I couldn't live without and had coupons for (chili sauce, white pepper seasoning, sausage, syrup, etc), it was time to head to the checkout line. Another bad sign is when the line you are in has you waiting back by the dairy section. Being in such a long line does give you the opportunity to scan other people's baskets to gain an insight into their lives. I quickly determined that the guy who hadn't shaved in several days with the box of crackers, canned turkey, box of instant potatoes, and case of beer who was scowling and ramming his basket into the backs of the legs of the lady in front of him was someone I would rather not get to know. On my other side was a lady with fresh collard greens, a huge ham, and the makings for a sweet potato pie. Now here was my soulmate. I decided to get to know her better and see if I could score an invite to her house. I'm sure El Hubbo and the kids could fend for themselves for TGiving.
Thirty minutes later, I was finally at the checkout lane. Surprisingly, the checkout lady and sacker boy were in relatively good spirits, even if they were confused by my non-TGiving purchases. Everything went smoothly until some of my coupons wouldn't ring up. All the people behind me started in with the deep sighs and eye-rolling. I just smiled sweetly back at them and stood my ground until I received the proper coupon discount. I did not endure this whole shopping experience to be denied my savings! The inner child in me was begging to stick out her tongue, but I managed to control her.
I followed my sacker boy out the door, and he only had to stop once and give me oxygen as we hiked to my car. I asked for a piggy back ride, but he just shook his head all wide-eyed and started running toward the lights of my car. I huffed, and I puffed, and I managed to catch up to him just as he got there. Ok, really he beat me there and had time to sit down and clean his fingernails, take a little nap, etc.
Loaded up, I headed for home, and promised myself that next year I would NOT repeat this mistake.
Why do I get the feeling that you'll be doing a repeat act next year on the same day and time? ;o)
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