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Dog Gone Evening

The day had been rather uneventful, as far as work days go. This morning I got up, got the kids around, let the dog outside, and left for work. Little did I know the adventure that would await me this evening.

4:15 p.m. Picked the kids up from daycare and headed home. Had mentally planned dinner - chicken strips and green beans. Get home - did I mention it had rained all day and was still coming down at a steady rate? Gather my bag, my purse, kid's blankets, kid's papers from daycare, mail, and the two-year-old (Little Sunshine) and hauled all of it and her into the house. Number One Son wanted to watch cartoons, so he settled into my recliner. Little Sunshine wanted some candy, so gave her a tootsie roll. Still had my coat and galoshes on, so went to garage for dog food. Envisioned a cozy night with a good dinner with my offspring. Took food to back door.....expected to be greeted by usually over-friendly and hyper dog,"Rocky". Did not receive usual greeting. That was the first sign of the misadventures that lay ahead.

4:30 p.m. Have conducted thorough inspection of slightly swampish backyard. Both gates are shut. No holes in fence. Dog is an English Springer Spaniel. Emphasis on the "Springer". Have seen him flat-foot jump up to six feet. Beginning to suspicion Rocky has decided to flee the nuthouse. Go back in house. Number One Son begins to cry for lost dog. Make futile effort to go out front of house, call the fugitive's name....walk around block to alley.....one can apparently sink to ankles in alley mud after a full-day's rain......slosh back to front of house.

4:40 p.m. Call Animal Control in case Rocky has been picked up by the animal po-po. Call vet to alert them to missing dog in case he is found and the rabies tag prompts someone to call the vet. (Did I mention that there is a rabies outbreak in town?) Call husband (who is in Houston) who can do nothing to help, but whom I feel should share in the misery.

4:45 p.m. Load Number One Son and Little Sunshine back into car. Still in nice workclothes and brand new rain coat. Begin to canvass the neighborhood. Have windows down and Number One Son and myself are yelling "Rocky, C'mere boy" all while downpour continues.

4:50 p.m. Have bright idea to go down flooded alley. Good thing I had the opportunity to gain mad "mudding" skills in high school and college. Exit alley and decide to stick to paved road.

5:00 p.m. Have driven majority of neighborhood with no success. Number One Son is still yelling himself hoarse while I scope out every porch and scare all joggers (who must be crazy since it is raining). Number One Son and I are soaked. As I slowly drive down the street, random vehicle pulls up next to us and Kind Stranger asks if we are looking for a lost dog? YES!!! "Follow me!" he says. So, we do.

5:10 p.m. Have located Rocky shivering and soaked on random stranger's porch. Rocky will not come to me - scared and apparently traumatized by foray out into Big, Bad World. I see that he is limping - the chase is on. Who says I am not in prime athletic shape? Pretty positive Kind Stranger is having a hard time not laughing in front of me as he watches me run down the road in my galoshes, wet and bedraggled hair streaming behind me while Number One Son has head out window yelling "Run, Mama, Run!"

5:15 p.m. Reconsidering why I actually want to catch the dog. Finally do. Have to pick him up and carry all wet, wigglely 45 pounds of him back to car while he licks my face and apologizes for misbehaviour. Kind Stranger, having realized his evening entertainment is concluded, drives away laughing hysterically.

5:20 p.m. Meet Sister-In-Law at house - hand off Number One Son and Little Sunshine. Call vet - found dog, need him checked for injury. Dash to vet office. No broken bones, take pain pill and monitor. Load wet dog into car, catch glimpse of hair and new raincoat in window reflection. Not good.

6:00 p.m. Drive to Sister-In-Law's home and pick up kids. Feeling energy dropping fast, decide to obtain caffeine STAT.

6:30 p.m. Put Rocky in backyard and give him a good threatening speech about the dangers of the world and what I will do to him if he does this to me again. Pretty sure I got through to him. Allow him to eat and take care of other business. Suck down caffein source and wait for the energy pump.

7:30 p.m. Have Number One Son empty bathtub of all toys. Run warm water. Bring in Rocky and remove collar - lock all three of us in the bathroom.

7:45 p.m. Not sure who is soaked the most. Dog escaped tub and in excitement either he or Number One Son peed on rugs. Finish washing dog - dry him off - he shakes excess water all over bathroom, me, and Number One Son. Put him on his pillow, return to bathroom and spray cleaner on tub. Convince Number One Son that washing the bathtub is actually a game. Once tub clean, give Number One Son bath.

8:00 p.m. Put rugs in washer. Realize that all hot water will be used in this process, so must wait for my own shower. Look at self in mirror and come to the conclusion that rain plus hairspray plus hair makes for a pretty impenetrable mess. The military should be able to use this combo for something.

8:30 p.m. Must give Rocky pain pill. Wrestling match could have been shown on WWF. Never mess with a wet, tired, cranky old woman. Rocky - 0, me - 1.

8:45 p.m. Finally get to take shower.

9:15 p.m. Collapsed in bed. Vowed to get even with husband who missed all the fun.

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