Things you think while your washer and dryer are being installed

1. Hello, Mr Appliance Installer with tattoos of demons all over your forearms. Very nice to meet you, please don't kill me.

2. So sorry for the 5 years of dust and lint under the old washer and dryer. Oh, and the socks, washcloth, newspaper from when we were potty training the puppy, hair balls, credit card bill I accused El Hubbo of losing, and other nice archival items. An archaeologist might enjoy digging through this.

3. I realize you just adjusted the feet to stabilize the units for that very spot, but would you mind terribly moving it six inches to the left?

4. Yes, I understand that everything I need to know about these things is probably contained in these owner manuals, but I didn't do this much reading for my two college degrees - what makes you think I am going to read these?

5. I am mezmerized by all the dials and buttons and lights - are you sure I can't call ET at home?

6. Do you really expect me to remember all the maintenance "suggestions" you just told me? I don't hear as fast as you talk.

7. Um, are these noises normal?

8. Thank you, demon-boy, but would you mind not poking your head around the corner of the laundry room to scope out my house for future theft-potential. I'm pretty sure I can identify you in a lineup - at least I can identify the tats.

9. Of course you have to have special detergent. Why on earth would I want to use the detergent I already have on hand?

10. Man, I hope that old washer and dryer sells soon so I can make a payment on these monsters!

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